-LEON!!

26 February 2012

2012-02-26T16:12:00.003+08:00

it's the last day of the weekend once again which spells the moving into the week where the A'level results would be released. on 2 March 2012, our results will be out. sickening as it may be, it's time to face the music and see what our effort has gotten us. anxiety still looms within me i can't deny because the sheer ability for which these results will be able to change my life. yeah. dramatic but true. i'm just hoping for the best and i hope my best was enough. i'm sure everyone is feeling like crap now while waiting for their results.

work at Terrapinn was good till friday when i had to use this other seat. out of the reach of my bosses' division and the awesome manager seats i've been having for the past 1.5 weeks, those people there are mean and irritating. they spent half an hour talking about a possible Japan trip that they might want to have and talking about other people/gossiping about them. and they had the nerve to complain to my boss when i rested on my table for less than 5 minutes as a result of a headache. duplicity. that's the only word that suits what happened. they could waste so much time and send 2 PERMANENT staff to sort letters and yet complain that i was slacking off as a result of me not feeling well? what in the blinking world.

the thing about this company and i heard nearly everywhere else is that they treat their temp staff worse than their permanent staff. in no way do temp staffs threaten their promotion nor do we cause them any harm, and yet they treat us meanly. my boss was nice enough, she just told i shouldn't rest during working hours but inform her if i was not feeling well beforehand.

i don't like office politics. why create them for nothing? annoying people. some of them(especially those that told on me) are more inefficient than us temp staff. okay. we are working harder than them and putting in more effort. but i have to say that monica's and my bosses are damn hardworking and diligent. we're not biased but it's a fact. yeap. typed a long passage but deleted them cause i don't want to destroy the company's reputation as a result of those few jerks.

anyways, i'm performing in Esplanade as a Commonwealth Alumni on 26th March 2012.

please come and support me, thanks! tickets can be bought through me and all. yeap! won't be having any solos cause it's the juniors' concert.

anyways, Ash Wednesday was good. the beginning of Lent. i've already decided on what i'm giving up in my life for these 40 days and perhaps more as penance. this includes fasting. hehe! oh yeah!

alright then. i've got to ready myself for Mass soon. i'll blog when results are out.

God bless us all!

2012-02-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

using back my old blogskin till a new one gets designed cause the pictures for the previous one disappeared. ><

20 February 2012

2012-02-20T17:21:00.001+08:00

Stuck in the office right now. The fella in front of me in my new allocated seat is pretty scary looking, he seems as though he’s monitoring me and another temp staff. Hmmm.. Weird fella. Well, the good news is that I’m giving another manager’s seat. The view is not too bad still. Heh! I get to see the cruise ships still though no more USS and Sentosa. =/

Cable cars are nearer to me now though. Barely 10m away from me! Woo hoo!! I’m so bored that I’m counting the number of times the VIP cable car goes by me. HAHAHAHA!! Okay, let’s get this straight: I’m not slacking. I’m done with my work that’s why. Yeap! It’s called efficiency.

Anyways, slowly embracing office life now. It’s interesting to see different people like this bitch who is being so pompous and abusive of her powers. Ridiculous bitch. Nevermind, ain’t going to cross her paths anyway cause I’m doing a different project form hers. I’m now working with Monica under her boss for this week cause efficient me has finished all my work my own bosses gave me. Yeah, I’ve got 2 bosses. The next thing that they’ll need me to do for them can only start the next week. Yeap!

The things that we do in life, they’re interesting in their own ways. Sometimes, we shouldn’t wait for things to happen but step up and make things happen instead. True ain’t it? We can’t possibly be waiting for everything to be a given for us in life can we? It doesn’t make sense/sounds logical to begin with. Effort is needed to make things happen, without it nothing will unless a miracle happens.

Yet again, some things in life are just meant to be. There’s no point forcing it to happen or trying to run away from it. It’s futile. Cause when we force our way on certain things in life, we end up creating just pain and friction. Given that you are pushing a block of wood onto your stomach. It is not meant to go INTO you right? Thus, the more you try forcing it, you end up feeling pain and suffer as a result of the fore of pushing it into you. Even worse would be if you’re trying to put your hand into a hole that is much too small for it to go through. You just hurt yourself and if you’re putting it in and still want to leave it inside, it’s just going to cause you to bleed and hurt. Not true?

Life is such that we don’t know which to follow at times. We are not omniscient to know our future and what’s happening around us COMPLETELY to know which decisions to make. Dire consequences result from either waiting or stepping up to do what you think you are to do. That’s the peculiar bit about life. We can’t decide. We just make choices on what gives us that inner peace and joy that we feel when we know it’s what our heart wants and most importantly what God’s will is for us. It is precisely when we’re doing His will and following His directions that we are able to attain such spiritual enlightening from within.

Making choices in life is difficult. Choosing to run from a fight or not. Perceptions can be great from a simple matter. Running away from it may be a result of one showing love and not wanting to hurt the other person, himself and others around. Keeping this in mind, it could be seen as weak and the lack of ability to fight on and press on. Another perspective would be that the person is mature enough to let things go while the other is being childish and still wanting to pursue the fight on.

If someone backs down in life, do you really need to take that step forward to feel superior? That’s pathetic if one has to do so. The one taking the step back and giving will only be mocking you for attaining such superiority through others giving in to you.

We all face this moment in life where making decisions will affect the rest of our lives. ANY decision one makes affects the outcome of the future. Be it being direct or indirect, it still does though many a times, we are not aware or conscious about it. I don’t think we should ever live a life of regret cause whatever decisions we make at that point in life was made on it seeming the best at that point in time. We do not know how things may unfold. Never regret. NEVER.

Whatever happens in life, happens for a reason. We may not see it now but be still and make your soul wait, see whatever that happens’ impact in your life. Be it the matter being positive or negative, we learn something from it and it builds us. Being cheated makes us aware of the signs of a person cheating on us be it in a relationship or in a friendship. Being manipulated lets us know how to prevent ourselves from being manipulated again. Being nice to others allow us to grow and spread the love around. Take the step forward, if one constantly expects returns for his doing, love will never be spread. Society will NEVER progress. We need to take the first step forward. Be the person you’d like to see others be. This isn’t a zero-sum world where there has to be someone being hurt. We can all be happy together. LOL!!! Okay, that’s a little too extreme but you guys get the idea.

Been drinking a lot of green tea lately. Having my third cup of Japanese green tea for the day already. Yeap! Interesting huh. How much I’m eating and drinking at work.

Wicked was good. I love musicals a lot. Felt the emotions being poured out on stage. Love the Australian cast for Elphaba(Jemma Rix) but the rest were just okay. In future, I want to catch all/most of the musicals that come to Singapore. I kept tearing as I just felt like I was part of the musical despite being in the audience. Bought the soundtrack. Hehe!! Wanted to buy the program booklet as a keepsake but then decided not to cause felt that it wasn’t that worth it after all.

Oh oh!! I want to buy a LV lock. Haha! Maybe not one but two or someting. HAHAH!!! Ain’t it cool to own a Louis Vuitton lock? Woo hoo! Sadly my consolidated pay for Esprit only comes in at the end of March plus my pay for Terrapinn would only be in at the same time. Life sucks. =( this is my 3rd time ranting about this I think? HAHAHA!!

Okay. This has been a long and wordy post. Somehow, I sustained concentration throughout. Wow! =]

Alright then. Shall persevere for another 40min and I’ll knock off from work. That’s that.

God bless us all!
=]

19 February 2012

2012-02-19T10:39:00.002+08:00

finally met up with that idiot D.
hahah!
first time he wasn't whining about how NS was.
had a good dinner with him to catch up.

was to meet Shawn Tan today but decided not too cause everything is so rushed. yeah, the annoying book in time is so out of the way! but he seems fine though he's in one of the fiercest companies. haha! he was still laughing with me and talking nonsense, so i'm sure he's doing alright. all his talking makes me quite excited for my enlistment, somehow. =O

heading to watch Wicked later in the afternoon. heh! excited for it. going for dim sum first before heading there. woo hoo! today's going to be a good day. oh yeah!

bought myself a new belt again. hehe. sucks that my pay for both Esprit and Terrapinn( my new office admin cum events management job is only coming at the end of March. which means i'm a poor boy now. =( sad man. which means i can't buy much nonsense this month and will be reliant on mummy. yeap.

alright. time to head out! see ya people! shall go for Mass in the evening. heh! =]

God bless us all!
=]

15 February 2012- a lazy day at work.

2012-02-15T14:05:00.004+08:00

okay, i'm stuck at work and i shouldn't be doing this but i am. alright.. was just thinking how everyone knows everyone nowadays, and especially in a small city-state called Singapore. with a population barely above 5 million, i realized how all my other friends end up knowing my other group of friends without my introduction.

well.. i guess i can't say much. National Service has served its purpose to be a common experience for all Singaporean guys to share cause that's how a lot of my friends are knowing one another. hmmm.. it's interesting yet scary while also being exciting. weird huh! i guess there's not many places to be in anyways, this place is small but cozy but it feels awkward when i suddenly see one of my friends adding another one of my other friends on Facebook only to realize they're camp mates or some, bunk mates.

i guess it's both a good and bad. ha! my turn will come soon on 9th May 2012 at 1245. would i end up meeting another one of my friend's friend? or possibly meet my own friend there? hmmm.. i guess i don't really know since we do not know who's going where and when.

alright. my work productivity is high today, therefore i'm daring enough to blog now. i enjoy the view from my seat. i love to the extent i went to check the ship arrival dates and timings to see when a nice cruise liner pops into the bay. it's really amazing how our lovely island can harbor humongous ships like the Royal Caribbean Legend of the Seas ship which is a vision-class ship. LOL!! i'm that bored to actually read up on such things. to find out the best cruises around. plus, looking at the terminal for 3 days has made me want to go on a cruise before i enlist. Monica is willing need another 1 or 2 more people. heh! it's damn relaxing and fun.

okay. Darius and Shawn Tan and many many more friends of mine including Shaun and Jeremy are coming out this Friday. woo hoo! i finally get to see them. i have to the 2 of them in front but the 2 behind hasn't made plans with me. hmmm.. perhaps one on each day? HAHAH!!!

valentines' day was boring as usual though Monica gave me chocolates. haha! awww.. at least i had someone giving me chocolates this Valentine's. =] wanted to get blue roses for mummy but i couldn't find anyone that had them just like that. a pity.

i think that's pretty much about it, about these few days. it's been quite boring yet interesting. heard someone attempted suicide in my friend's boyfriend's company which is also Shawn Tan's company. hmmm.. her friend told her and she told me. interesting huh! HAHAHAHA!!!

anyways, it's exactly 2 months to my birthday! woo hoo!! 15th April. 15th April. 15th April. HAHAHA!! i'm hinting like a bitch. hehehehehe.. i want a huge yoshi, i want my A|X belts, i want my phones. i want so many things. shan't list, it's pointless. i'm kidding about the phone thing cause i'll probably just get the camera-less iPhone 4s(if the ministry approves) or the Blackberry. yeap! =/

alright then, that's that. that's pretty much everything looming in my head. heheh. i'm trying to type in such paragraphs for now. i shall see. i'm heading back to my work. tata!

God bless us all!
=]

13 February 2012

2012-02-13T21:40:00.002+08:00

started my new work.
it's interesting.
had a PRICELESS view of Singapore.
on my right of my temporary seat is Sentosa and USS.
on my right, i see the cable cars less than 15m away from me.
=]

okay.
work's alright.
a tad boring but still alright.
thought of looking for a internship.
hmmm..
i think i shall try.
if it's God's will to help me get one, i'll go for it.
yeap.

alright.
i'm suddenly blanked out.
O_O
gosh.
wanted to write about something.

anyways.
tomorrow is Valentines' day.
yeap.
19th year alone.
LOL!!
whatever.
i'm going to clock it till 20/21 at least.

i guess it's nice to have someone but it's not a need yet.
heh.

okay, if i remain single, i'm going to adopt kids from around the world.
hahaha!!
my latest thing!
adopt a Korean kid, a Dutch kid and have one of my own.
=]

it's a random but serious conceived thought and not some momentary conception.

wrote 3 blog posts for my workplace today.
read A LOT about the Asian markets and economies all morning in order to see what type of demand they have and to target the consumers there.
this is to attract the firms and companies there.
heh.
it's interesting.
at least it's not manipulative.

alright then.
i'm heading to bed.
going to read a book first.
nights guys!

God bless us all.

9 February 2012

2012-02-09T17:43:00.003+08:00

and more than often we tend to seek comfort only in the sense of being comfortable. we become reliant to such a means that we neglect the ability to seek comfort in pain; solace. we trust in ourselves, our resources to "settle in" in this world.
does that not happen to us more and more?

6 February 2012

2012-02-06T23:49:00.003+08:00

okay.
i just felt like blogging so here i am.
=]

life's unpredictable huh?
one minute, you're all healthy and the next, dead.
LOL.
okay, perhaps not that dramatic to all of us but you guys get the idea.

one minute, i thought "fuck this, i'm to enlist in March."
and the next, i'm going in in May!
woo hoo!

okay.
the test went well.
i even laminated the score sheet.
a little stupid but it's a good momento.
=]

thanks Jeremy for accompanying me.

it's quite sad.
the usual people i crap with/talk to/speak with are all busy with their lives now.
hmmm..
some are in uni, another 2 in poly, a few(less than 10) are in Tekong fighting for the nation while the others are working.
yeap.
so it's been quite quiet these few days.
heh.
i bet i'm going to text really little this month.

at least i still have quite a number not busy and able to hang out with.
=]

prioritizing things in life is never easy.
i guess it boils down to what matters to us most.
at that moment in time, our choices were based on what we felt was best given the circumstances.
i won't say that i regret something that i did in life though i do have thoughts that it could've been better handled.
to those out there that curse the shit out of your minds when something bad happens to them and actually wished to change that aspect; treating it as a regret, you guys should accept it and move on instead of regretting.
there's no point dwelling on the regretful incident unless you're thinking of a way to salvage the situation/predicament or whatsoever.
it's just silly to say that for example, ' person A is a bitch for breaking me up. he/she is so _________________(anything mean that you wanna put in). i wish i NEVER got together with him/her.'
isn't it ironic that it was you who initially was mad over him/her and then the next you're cursing him/her.
that just makes you the stupid one for those who call it a stupid decision cause you're the one that made the decision.

anyways, since circumstances have changed in my life, i made new decisions and commitments.
i'm leaving Esprit already so guys, say goodbye to the staff discount.
heh!
i'm leaving this weekend.
thank God i'm leaving on a good note so i'm still retaining my relationships there.
don't misconstrue that line alright?
=]

i'm heading to take on an office job with Monica at Harbourfront.
the working hours are more stable and the pay is higher, so i guess that's the best thing to do.
=]
now, i'll need to buy office attires.
heh!
good excuse to shop and buy clothes.

i'm seeing things like #foreveralone on Twitter and the direct opposite of it where people are mushy and sweet.
i guess i'm stuck with the former again.
but on a good note, at least i'm a happy single boy.
=]
i mean i can deny that the feeling of being alone sucks but i'll get used to it i hope?
HAHAH!!
or perhaps i wouldn't need to after all.
heh.

anyways.
wait for my video to come out guys.
i'll be recording with a few friends a familiar tune, hopefully in time for Valentines' Day.
heh!
we'll need to practise though.
it isn't that easy.
yeap.

anyways, USS with Kenneth, Monica, Shao Wei and Adrian was smashing!
heh!
did tonnes of stupid but fun things with them.
sat my first ever roller coaster on the Cyclon.
yeap!
cause in the past, i was either too light or too short.
yeah, sucks to be with me.
it was thrilling luh the roller coaster!
loved the Transformers ride A LOTTT!
love them to bits!
as in my company.

alright then.
that's that.

God bless us all!
=]

1 February 2012

2012-02-01T15:46:00.001+08:00

HELL YEAH!!
i got rid of my PTP; my extra 2 months of National Service.
=]

31 January 2012

2012-01-31T13:33:00.002+08:00

okay.
Darius has gone into NS.
so has many of my other friends.
Shaun and Jeremy next.
followed by another Shawn of mine.
haha!
life is interesting.
=]

oh oh oh!!
watch out in a month's time or something for something exciting on my blog!
will be uploading a video.
hehe!!
it's damn cool i dare say!
=]
super excited to record it.

alright.
work's been tiring.
going to attempt my NAPFA again on wednesday.
FML.

tried jumping just now at 11+ after work.
probably i was tired.
but on my first try i managed a 2.15.
second try, 2.25.
and subsequent ones balanced between 2.15 and 2.2.
=/
huge risk again on wednesday.
if i fail, i'll just go back.
no point trying the rest.
God really bless me man!

in life, when you are not being yourself you'll get tired enough.
and eventually you'll realize that it's 'an exercise in futility.' just as Mr Whitby loves to say it.
HAHAHA!!
i miss him a lot.
his literature classes.
=/

i miss school.
feeling stupid everyday not having anything to thing and all.
i shall really work hard to pass my NAPFA and then take time to find a thinking job than this one at Esprit.
it's fun and all but you don't exactly use your brain.
=/

anyways, heading to ym dermatologist soon.
now's like my last few moments with the shawn before he enlists tomorrow.
and i'm seeing him 'hairless'.
HEHEHE!!

had lunch with him today and it seems like school ended pretty early for everyone today.
saw many other teenagers our age too.
some were in uniform and all.
hmmm..

i love ice shaken lemon hibiscus tea.
hehe!
it's just sweet and lovely!
=]

hectic week again.
hmmm..
USS this weekend with the NJC band people.
took off for it and for church.
heh!
i love my manager.
she's very flexible and all.
accommodating me and my requests.
yeap!

alright.
that's that.

God bless us all!

19 January 2012

2012-01-19T00:00:00.002+08:00

just nice, the clock strikes 12.
so... i'm posting this at midnight.
heh!
=]

hectic 18012012 it has been.
rushed from the dental clinic to hongjie's place for altering my clothes and to Duxton@The Pinnacle.
yeahh.
so, i did my hair and my teeth today.
yeap!
don't look so shaggy at least.

headed to NUH to settle my laser payment too.
yeap!
final bill is out.
1208 for the creams and 1100 for the laser itself.
LOL!
my mum was like ' why are your creams more expensive than your operation? '
i couldn't answer that.

heading for dinner thereafter with mummy's boss's family and with mine.
yeap!
nice Chinese restaurant behind NJC.
yeap!
=]

enjoyed the meal and the conversations.
heh!

i guess in life, there's just this one thing that you hold fast to.
somehow, you just keep it etched in mind; not willing to let it go.
yet, when you try to find a replacement, it's THAT difficult because of the expectation that's been set as a result of the past one that used to be there.
in the end, you're back where you're started.

just saying.
a thought that transpired.
hmmm..

alright.
suddenly feeling tired already.
it's time to sleep.
i've work later anyways.

God bless us all!
amen.

18 January 2012

2012-01-18T02:49:00.002+08:00

i want to make an impact in future.
and i want to have the ability to be philanthropic.

13 January 2012

2012-01-13T14:31:00.003+08:00

contemplative and reflective.
that's been the mood these few days.
apparently it's not only me i see?

anyways.
i was saying that i'd do a post on my working life right?
so here it is.
this is my first job i've taken cause the previous one was just for 3 days.
LOL.

working in the retail line is really an eyeopener.
you see many types of customers.
some are annoying in so far as they are just big-headed, thinking that they're damn big and that they own the entire world.
such customers ask for help without any courtesy.
if you think that's bad enough, they are damn annoying by messing up your stacks of clothes just to find their sizes when you're just there to be able assist them.
well, i guess i cna't complain since i have to tidy up the area but i don't think the messing up was necessary.

another group of customers are those that are damn courteous.
they're there looking for clothes and they actually apologize for making a mess nd attempts to fix their mess.
more than often, they barely mess up the place but instead just leaves the top clothing half-folded.
haha!

i guess you get to see many personalities unfold from a simple job like this.

many of my customers have asked me why i took this job when they say i have a silver tongue to do other jobs or what they call as 'better work/jobs'.
i don't know.
i like my job, it's interesting.
something different from the norm that my life revolves.

feel touched when one of my customer actually wrote a feedback form to thank me for good service.
adorable old lady.
i just felt so proud of myself.

i don't know.
i wokr with the idea that since i'm in this line i should be helping to my utmost ability and with great courtesy.
personally, i hate customer service which shows me their attitude and are impolite.
it's just disgusting.
since you're working in this line, just do your best.
that's what i feel and that's how i work.
i don't expect a thank you from my customers but merely just a smile from them because i've been able to help them in their requests.
yeap.

most of my friends were like ' whatt?! leon in retail?!'
haha.
yeah, it was shocking.
all thanks to Atika for chiding me on to try for the job.
=]

but i guess i'm enjoying my time here.
but i'll probably leave by the 2nd week of february if i'm unable to get a silver for my standing board jump.
yeah.
2cm.
just that stinking 2cm that's in my way.
=/

so guys, anyone interested in buying clothes from Esprit just go in and say you're a friend of mine.
and on the spot, they may need verification so call my phone up.
oh oh!
this works at Liat Towers' Esprit only; the largest in Singapore.
yeap!
40% staff discount given to you on top of ANY promotion.
heh!
don't say i ain't nice.
=]

i guess there are perks in working in this line.
i meet more people outside the usual JC circle and all.
also, you get your hands on the latest designs of clothing damn quickly.
yeap!
=]

example:
i was at work on monday and they just took out the stock for this checkered pink shirt.
yeap.
there was only 1 XS when i checked the system.
and then i just took it and buy it thereafter.
=]
apparently, for that design, there's less than 50 pieces or a 100 in Singapore.
and i snapped one immediately.
wahahahaA!!
awesome huh!

alright.
just did my laser on wednesday.
it's a face laser not lasik.
there's a difference.
=/

i guess i'll have to stay home to recuperate now for a while till the skin finishes peeling.
yeap.
can't step out of the house cause of the fear of getting an infection.

the best part, i don't get why i've been so tired these few days.
i can sleep in the afternoon for hours and then sleep again at night.
wonderful huh!
=/

okay.
i wanted to do a blog post on my europe trip; taking the highlights here but i'm too lazy now.
maybe another time.
=]

in life, we have priorities.
we make the choices for priorities.
at the end of the day, we are responsible for them.
i guess i'm not being direct about this.
but it's good this way.
yeap!

oh oh!
an epic quote from the Adam Khoo camp in Sec 3.
"Choices have consequences"
that pretty much settles everything.

when you've nothing to do, you tend to have more things going through your mind.
like how life is and how it's going to be in the future.
hmmm.
i should be devoting my time to the Rosary more often since i'm so free huh.
alright.
starting tonight then!
=]

okay then.
i think i've spent enough time lamenting.
now i've got a boring long post.
well..
one fine day when i'm old, i'll read through all these and laugh at my stupidity.
and half the things that i have typed here, i would have forgotten.
haha.
that'll be interesting then.

alright then.
that's that.

God bless us all.
=]

7 January 2011

2012-01-07T22:49:00.002+08:00

just when i thought..
hmmm..

anyways.
life's been good.
this is the first post of the year.

let's begin with New Year's celebration.
things turned out fine.
a little liquor, card games and all does the trick.
HAHAH!!
secondary school friends a re irreplaceable.
somehow..
=]

work has been great.
but someone said i looked 19.
wow.
a first man.
apparently he's a fellow coworker that i have not worked with yet.
anyways, revelation.
i'm working at Esprit.
yeap.
heh!
if you guys plan on getting anything there just pop by.
i'm working at Liat Towers.
tell them you're my friend or relative or something and call me on the spot to verify.
you'll get staff discount.
it's 40% so don't say i'm being cheapo!
cause it's really a lot.

been going to the gym a little from time to time.
once a week i guess?
planning to increase it.
need to bulk up a little.
i don't want to be so 'slim' / petite anymore.
=/

anyways.
anyone knows where to purchase tequila?
and price?
i really like tequilas.
heh!
i especially love margaritas!
=]

nah, don't get the wrong impression guys.
i ain't some alcoholic alright!

daddy's birthday tomorrow.
got him an Esprit polo tee for his present.
intentionally got him white cause i know he doesn't have white clothes.
but in fact, i know he doesn't like white stuff.
HAAHAHA!!
but still, he likes it in the end.
=]

mummy gave him a Tag Heuer for his birthday present and their 25th anniversary present.
kinda sweet huh!

thanks Kenneth for the beautiful Rosary that you made for me for Christmas.
=]
it was really lovely!
also, thanks for the black pyramid that you got me from Egypt(though it looks like it's for black magic as what Monica thought it was for.)
HAHAHAHA.

went for Mass with them.
SMOTA is just awesome.
Father Derrick led the Mass today.
there was a Deacon along today.
was great.
today is the Epiphany; the last day of Christmas when the 3 wise men went to the manger to pay homage to baby Jesus.
yeap.

i guess it's principles and faith that make us who we are.
hmmm..
without them, we're no one.
nervousness clouds us from time to time.
we just have to focus not on perfection but on how to make our audience enjoy what we showcase by having fun ourselves.

friend offered to bring me to watch Wicked.
Emerald seating, the best seats in the theatre.
but i turned it down.
have laser for my face on that very day, wednesday.
yeah.
sucks huh having to turn down such a fantastic offer!
=/

oh well..

think that's about it.
i have yet to finish uploading my Europe trip pictures yet.
quite fail uh.

that's that.

God bless us all!

31 December 2011

2011-12-31T20:11:00.003+08:00

a great feeling of love just comes when you are appreciated.
to me, i guess it can parallel love from a spouse/other half or whatever you want to call it.

saw a facebook message from a junior in NJC which i never expected.
they've thanked me countless of times for that little help that i gave to them.
i thought it was just formalities but touching initially.
but seeing my junior's message today, i know they're sincere.
then i thought about all the letters and thank you cards/notes that they gave me, i just feel so overwhelmed by the inner joy.

yeap.
then i thought about doing a reflective post of the year.
good time to take stock of life i guess?

hectic, painful, heart-wrenching, exhaustive but yet fun, joyful, touching, heartwarming and simply, wonderful.
learnt many lessons, important and not so important.
learnt to be more mature about life yet enjoy it when i can stay by the sidelines.

band has been a joy but tiring event for me.
SYF, concert and Shawn's premier of Ataxia Perpetuum.

classes became more fun i guess?
learnt better.
was more focused after that.
thank you Mr Whitby and Mr Lim.
Mr Ng, Ms Shawna, Ms Oon and last but not least, Mr Bek.
really got the best teachers in the school already.

got closer to more friends in NJC.
made new ones too while strengthening the more 'seasoned' ones.

stronger in faith, and psychological and emotional health/well-being.

ended the year with a blast.
typing for the A's and with extended time; a first in NJC's history.
wow.
thanks Ms Gao for all the help alongside my own teachers.
just being hopeful for the results that are to be released next march.
i just hope that they'll be good.

things followed suit with my commencement of work in the retail sector.
it is an interesting job.
colleagues are nice but competitive when it comes to sales, not all but some.

my awesome Europe trip was an eyeopener for me.
looking at the various cultures and further appreciating the Roman Catholic religion.
i just feel so blessed.

material wants are settled for the year.
well, maybe a nice Armani belt would be cool.
HAHAHA!!
but i've got what i wanted: my macbook pro, Nex camera, phone, LV wallet etc. etc.
don't want to make it seem like i'm showing off.
but yeah.
i'm counting my blessings.
i feel really grateful.
thanks be to God.
and thank God for such a loving mother.
=]

i must say, i achieved my resolutions for last year: to study harder and all.
achieved most of it.
but still, like i was saying on twitter, i'm not setting any for the new year in 2012.
yeap.
just going to better myself, that's enough.

Mass today was awesome as usual.
counted blessings even more which inspired this post to begin with.
what's more?
i was tearing throughout Mass cause i am really really so overwhelmed by His love for me.
thanks be to God.

alright then.
got to head out to fetch my secondary school friends to my place for countdown and all.
it's going to be funn!!

a happy new year to you all out there.

God bless us all.

30 December 2011

2011-12-30T22:09:00.002+08:00

like anything is going change with the ushering of the new year.
i'm still being as naive as ever.
being optimistic.

we set resolutions that we break every new year.
go ahead and look at those that we set 366 days ago.
how many have we achieved/kept.

whatever the case.
having a new year's celebration with a small knitted group at my place tomorrow evening till late.
yeap.
they're damn lucky to be coming to my house cause not many have ever done so.
heh.

work's been fine.
i should stop being so nice.
whatever the case, i'm probably leaving at the end of January.
oh yeah, i'm working in town.
yeap.

don't know what to type anymore.
feeling a little sian and just..
i don't know how to put it.

alright.
shan't drag this further.

i hope for a good year; 2012.
that's all.

God bless us all!

26 December 2011

2011-12-26T18:06:00.003+08:00

don't you guys all think that there are some things in life that cannot be said out openly cause it's a social taboo.
as in, you'll get flamed for putting such statements up though they can be factual.
don't want to cite any examples lest i get misquoted and misinterpreted to be supporting any writer.
yeap.
just saying..

Christmas was good.
started out on a shabby note but ended with a beautiful finale.
met up two best friends for lunch and starbucks.
oh oh!
i found a damn cool starbucks place.
it's REALLY nice!!
heh!

went on to meet secondary school friends for dinner and later played pool and went to a pub to enjoy.
okay.
it was a pub with a pool table.
it was fun.
love my friends.

this christmas was more of a quiet celebration i guess?
at least not as dramatic as last year's.
but otherwise superb.
=]

the meaning of life..
what is it to you?
i guess everyone's take is different so there is no wrong or right.
it ultimately depends on our priorities.

feel like going out to walk around the nature parks but i don't have anyone to go with.
D is off to Toronto and he's the only one that'll be willing to walk.
hmmm..

work starts on 29th again.
working on the eve and on new year's day.
but for the eve, i'll be working till 8pm only so it's cool.
i'll head out thereafter i guess.

shall find something to do for that day.
yeap.

alright then!
i think that's about it.
uploaded 3 albums of pictures online already.
heh!
day 4 is coming up!

anyways, any shows to introduce me to watch?
feeling kinda bored.
hmm..

that's that.
God bless us all.

25 December 2011

2011-12-25T05:38:00.002+08:00

alright.
a very merry Christmas to you guys out there!
may Lord bless us with His abundant gifts!

a curious thing i was thinking about earlier today.
been seeing things like 'oh, i'll find a better guy/girl. my latest ex was a bitch/________(whatever vulgarity you wish to put in)
as well as ' ______ is a bad person, i hate him/her'
what's the point when you break up and you start swearing about the person and saying all the negatives?

don't tell me you didn't enjoy the journey at all?
despite the end result being undesirable, the nominal choice was yours in the first place.

i guess even though how badly the relationship has ended, yes, the anger is there alongside disappointment that the person whom you thought was everything was not it.
could it have been bad judgment on your own part?
or perhaps expectations were set too high?
what if it is a culmination of both party's fault?

i'm not saying that you can't vent your anger and express your sorrow, however i don't think that gossiping and later cursing at the person is a good thing.
you mean only one party gets hurt?
i don't think so.
no matter the extent, both get hurt in some way or another.

that's just my take on this.
yeap.
kudos.

anyways.
europe trip has concluded.
i'm back.
it feels good to be back home.
landed at 6.53am and cabbed back.
luggage was overweight like i-don't-know-what.
gosh!
we checked in 50kg and brought another hand-carry luggage of 10.7kg up the plane.
LOL!!

that's how much we bought.
thanks to all the LV and Prada that mummy bought for herself and her friends.
hahah!!

i miss the cold weather in Europe man.
it as really great.
a natural air conditioning being turned on.

Amsterdam was wonderful.
i love the serene place but nothing beats Germany and Innsbruck.
i still love those 2 the most.

concluded the Trip with Belgium and Paris.
Brussels was a little boring though.
at least to me i guess?
Paris was fun but Champs Elesse was a great place to shop.
bought Kipling stuff.
haha!
a bag for my camera(or not) and a laptop bag.
LOL!!

met a really messed up China worker in Paris when i was claiming my taxes back.
really a jerk.
sorry 2 of them.
the gist was that, i scolded them badly.
and then called the manager out.
spoke to the manager for 5 minutes and everything was resolved.
stupid China Chinese.

don't want to generalize so i'm being specific; the two bitchy and arrogant China Chinese workers at the Le Fayate shopping centre's VAT tax refund area.

too lazy to type out the whole story cause later people will say that i'm being mean or against another country.
yeap.

Christmas Mass was good.
i love Masses.
i simply adore the reverence i feel in Church.
though i must say that i really miss the traditional churches in Europe.
wished i could have celebrated Mass in Europe but we were in a tour group, so mummy and i didn't have the chance/opportunity to do so.
=(
in future i guess then!

went for Mass with Vera, Ysabel, Clement, Shawn, Nigel, Laura and my sister.
was interesting.
really missed my church friends a lot.
it's been a while since i saw them all.
yeap!

anyways.
i'm finally going to bed.
things are all lined up for this Christmas day.
lunch with Ming Shi and Charmaine.
followed by dinner with some secondary school friends.
heh!

i just realized something, i kinda spent a lot on souvenirs.
O_O
okay.
nevermind.
what matters is that my friends and i are happy.
hahahah!!

alright then.
that's that.

God bless us all!

20 December 2011

2011-12-21T05:38:00.001+08:00

this is seriously a small world.

18 December 2011

2011-12-19T03:09:00.002+08:00

it's no longer a need to detach myself from the past, it is a must.
i dreamt of you for 2 consecutive nights whilst in Europe.
from Switzerland to Germany.
simply can't believe it despite not having a proper conversation with you in years.

anyways.
i'm enjoying myself greatly in Europe.
a pity mummy ain't 'on' enough to join me to do crazy stuff.
initially, was afraid the tour group would be boring and just bad.
BUT..
it's been remarkable.

from rome, it was just amazing.
visiting Vatican City was just an eyeopener for me.
definitely didn't have enough time to marvel at the statues and monuments present but i was captivated.
thank God for bringing me to this religion.
thank God for being a Catholic.
i'm proud to be one; always.

headed to Pisa.
was fun too.
too bad mummy wasn't willing to do nonsense photography with me.
heh!

met my aunt in Venice.
it's been a while.
haven't seen her in years too.
she bought us lots of Kinder Surprise.
it's not the crappy Kinder Joy kay!
it's the tasty one.
heh!
lugging back about 2 dozens of them.

headed to Innsbruck.
it's just simply wonderful.
i can't tihnk of a better word at this point in time.
i love that place to bits.
Austria.
i love you.
the cost of living is about the same as Singapore's.
i loved the sightseeing, culture and the hotel.

moved on to the Alps in Switzerland.
gosh.
the worst thing there is the cost of living.
okay, even I am complaining.
capital letter I.
i bought food for lunch; simple 2 main course meals and an extra dish of fried chicken wings at this Thai eatery.
guess the cost?
79 Swiss Francs.
that's like 100++ Singapore Dollars for a lunch.
nothing fancy ya know.
Pat Thai and Hor Fun.
chocolates were good, i can't deny that.
the only thing that was cheaper than Singapore was the branded watches and goods.
mummy bought daddy a Tag Heuer to celebrate their 25th anniversary.
and she got herself one too.
some limited edition one.
wanted to get one limited edition one too but mummy said not at this juncture since my current one is still working.
thoguht about it after a while and agreed with her.
can't use it for the next 3 months while trapped in NS.
plus i can only wear it when i book out.
pointless.
shall get it on my own when i'm older.

headed to Germany.
another wonderful place to live in.
was in Rhineland and Blackforest.
amazing.
i played with snow there, made a snowman and had simply delicious blackforest cake.
yeap!
but the internet is really pathetic.
-_____-

currently loding in the hotel Novotel in Amsterdam.
amazing place.
the hotel room is great.
facilities are wonderful.
only bad thing is that i have noisy China people as my neighbour.
i hope they check out tomorrow man since i'm staying here for 2 nights.

have a tremendously awesome tour leader.
he's REALLY good.
simply amazing.
only thing i can find fault with him is the accuracy of the history of certain places.
all thanks to Mr Lim and Ms Oon for teaching me history
heh!
certain things were not terribly accurate but more or less there.
apart from that, he's just great!
=]

alright.
will be screening through my photos before uploading them up when i get back to Singapore.
definitely have to.
don't want to upload 3 photos of me with the same monument.
UNLESS i'm having different poses or they are SIGNIFICANTLY different.
heh!
oops.
a little mean though.
i've got 1776 of photos for these 8 days already.
so i guess i'll cap it to 200 photos a day.
this means i have to get myself a new portable hard drive.
i love my Nex C3.
;]

okay.
i'm going to have my shower now.
no wine to sip tonight.
i was like sipping rose wine while laying in the bath tub watching my cantonese serial the other day in Innsbruck hotel.
Hotel Innsbruck.
i love that place.

alright then.
that's all
going to take amazing photos tomorrow in Dutch costumes.
look out for that people!
i'll be uploading highlights from my trip onto my blog when i'm back in Singapore.
24th December.
hahah!
watch out thereafter.

i wish there were friends to join me for this trip man.
in future when we grow up!
heh!

God bless us all!
=]

2011-12-10T14:20:00.000+08:00

my lovely trio!

10 December 2011

2011-12-10T01:59:00.002+08:00

oh yeah!

flying off in less than 24hours time!

13 hours and 10 minutes flight.

heh!

i'm like totally excited.

the list to get souvenirs for is getting longer!!

i'm all prepared.

luggage is at 15.6kg now.

HEH!!!

all the winter wear and some other stuff for my Italian aunt and cousins that i'm going to meet up there!

bought myself a pair of jeans and a nice cool jacket from Esprit.

awesome much!

you're going to see them in my pictures to come.

bringing my macbook along so as to transfer pictures into it before starting each day.

this is to ensure that my camera(C3) has enough space to capture everything.

okay, i ain't going to use the same face throughout.

shall attempt to be innovative a little.

hahaha.

won't take about 7 pictures with the SAME thing.

gosh!

retarded much.

shan't point fingers.

heh!

alright, i've been mindlessly 'heh'-ing.

somehow addicted to this.

work's been fun.

learn a lot of stuff.

at the end of my working period, i'll disclose location and all.

i'm really learning a lot from it.

it's got to do with sales and customers.

yeap!

what i believe is that i should do my best to serve my customers cause i would HATE my sales person not serving me in the best way possible when i'm the customer.

i guess, BE THE CHANGE that you want to see.

cliche but true.

when the customers thank me, immense joy and satisfaction comes out.

somehow, you take pride in it.

i take pride in my work.

initially, i felt degraded cause i can't believe(alongside MANY MANY friends) that i would take up this job.

but now, i feel that it's cool.

interesting in every way possible.

people are nice too.

yeap!

i try my best to find the things that my customers want okay!

though i see some that don't.

whatever it is, i know i'm doing my best and that's enough.

i know, my manager knows and God knows.

alright then.

happy birthday to you best friend!

you're 18, like finally.

hope you liked your birthday celebration.

a big THANK YOU(not.) to the waitress who caused my entire idea to blow.

despite that, really hope you liked it all.

that's that.

attending my last Mass before heading overseas.

God bless us all!

bon voyage~

2011-12-06T23:06:00.003+08:00

oh yeah!

thank you James Onggo for joining me for lunch today on an impromptu basis.

HEH!!!

love you man!

urgh. whatever, don't read too much into the love you.

had to edit this somehow after people started asking me if i'm crushing on James.

-____-

grow up people!

6 December 2011

2011-12-06T23:02:00.002+08:00

i was just thinking 5 min before, what will happen if you come into the shop.

and thereafter, you did.

damn it.

made all attempts to evade you.

that's how much i don't wish to see you.

never expected to see you there as i never noticed you getting such stuff.

yeap.

on the other hand, the Princess of Brunei came in today.

clad in full LV and MANY MANY rings on EVERY finger, she was glamorous.

her 'underlings' and family around her were also carrying LV.

if i'm not wrong, they're all limited edition cause mummy was trying hard to get one of the designs.

hmmm..

interesting day.

alright.

i've started working.

yeap!

wahaha.

those who know where, shut it alright!

that's that.

all the best to me trying to pass my NAPFA tomorrow.

God bless us all.

just a random post

2011-12-03T20:19:00.003+08:00

somehow everyone tells me i have to change a lot of things before i get enlisted.

oh yeah, i've got my enlistment date.

8 March 2011.

wow.

i need to get rid of the extra 2 months BADLY.

i don't wanna celebrate my birthday in camp or claim my A'level results with no hair.

God bless me man.

only issue is with the standing board jump.

hais..

anyways.

from watch to everything, i have to shed them off before going in.

thought of bringing my current watch in but mon, shao wei and kenneth said i'm nuts.

hmmm..

thought of bringing a durable watch in, they said, it'd get stolen.

okay, so they're going to bring me to buy a $10 watch before going in.

LOL!!!

the most epic is about the stealing of underwear in there.

do they really steal another's underwear?

how man.

i want to bring my usual trunks in eh.

hais..

okay, TMI.

i've got to buy more then.

hmmm..

spectacles will be changed next year.

heh.

will be wearing a wooden crucifix or cross into there.

probably a Franciscan cross.

yeap.

anyways.

feeling sentimental tonight.

somehow, i kinda blame the rain for it.

hmmm..

but yet again, if there wasn't a feeling in there in the first place, the rain wouldn't have worsened it.

cant believe i'm heading off to Europe in exactly a week's time.

i would be like heading to the airport at this very minute next week.

heh.

shall go for my last Mass next week on saturday before heading off.

alright.

i've got to head off for supper with Mingshi and Charmaine.

that's why i love friends living near me.

heh.

God bless us all!

3 December 2011

2011-12-03T02:08:00.001+08:00

i guess i can live without it for now.

life's good..

God bless.

30 November 2011

2011-11-30T21:42:00.002+08:00

have you guys ever had everything that you ever wanted?

material-wise at least.

material happiness has been achieved by me.

at least what i want.

now the spiritual non-material aspect is being slowly attained.

but the other is not.

hmmm..

27 November 2011

2011-11-27T23:13:00.002+08:00

one minute, you're bitching about someone and the next, you're best friends dining together again.

hmmm..

how do you call that?

hypocritical?

two-faced?

or mature?

issue that's been on my mind.

seen many double-crossing lately.

wow.

one minute i see, let's give it person A, is bitching about person B with a group of friends.

the very next day, everything is okay and they're out together again.

hmmm..

and it goes on: this vicious cycle.

so what do we call that?

being mature or what?

personally i feel that, you ought to tell the person directly how you feel about the subject that you're happy with the person about.

i guess, ranting to A friend about it, i repeat A friend about it, is okay.

but bitching it to a group?

what are you trying to prove?

you're right and that person who is the subject for bitching is wrong?

personal reassurance?

maturity comes in when you can oversee the flaw that you've spotted out, it isn't when you constantly go on bitching.

that's my take on it.

it's like; you've made the effort to help the person change, if you can accept the flaw you're mature enough.

if not, just don't keep the person as a close friend if it affects you so much.

close friends don't bitch about one another incessantly and constantly.

on the other hand, being two-faced come in when you're just doing the latter.

yeah.

whatever.

that's just my two cents worth of thought.

LOL.

i forgot what i wanted to go writing/typing about already.

gosh.

post-A'Levels syndrome.

finally got my Sony Nex camera.

instead of the Nex5, decided to get the Nex C3 instead cause the person said that the C3 had better functions in it cause you can add on the functions present in it.

also, the touch screen function that i was dying for in the Nex 5 initially ain't that great after all according to the sales guy.

so yeap!

this reminds me!

its 8 hours first charge is over!

woo hoo!

can't believe i'm being a good boy tomorrow and staying home.

heh.

heading on tuesday and wednesday.

okay

this settles it; i need a job.

feel damn bad for getting mummy to pay for everything i'm buying as of late.

yeah.

hais..

life goes on..

today's Mass marks the first week of Advent.

woo hoo!

Christmas is coming.

somehow, i don't look forward to the gifts anymore.

i'm looking forward to the time spent together with friends and family.

i really hate the fact that Christmas has been so commercialized now.

it's a pity that the main reason is not the centre of the festival anymore.

hais..

i'm flying back just in time for midnight Mass for the Easter Vigil.

heh!

the commemoration of the day Christ was born.

yeap.

think i've deviated from my point of blogging.

HA!

just a random thing.

the other i was just thinking of blogging about how we do things in the heat of the moment and end up apologizing later on; expecting things to be alright and you'd be forgiven.

and the next minute, i walked of the shower, i saw an article in The Straits Times about the same thing.

LOL.

coincidental or what.

alright.

been having weird dreams that i missed my A'levels SEA paper or Econs paper 2.

post-A'levels withdrawal symptom.

HAHAHAH!!!

joke man.

alright then.

that's that.

laser in January.

wahahahahah..

sakae buffet with fat joshua and linus on wednesday.

heh!

now i've got to find a cover to protect the screen of my camera.

heh!

alright then!

i wish those that still have their MCQs all the best and good luck!

tata!

God bless us all.

23 November 2011

2011-11-23T20:48:00.002+08:00

the surreal feeling of not having anything to study for the next 2 years is still setting in.

wow.

anyways.

another day went by just like that.

to think i ended my exams on monday.

life has been.

good.

HAHA!

alright.

heading for a high tea buffet tomorrow with Shawn, James, Joshua, Sam, Janice and Sarah.

heh.

shawny's treating us.

i'm bored.

i need to brighten up my life since the A's are over already.

need to find excitement.

hmm..

God bless those who are still in peril.

amen.

21 November 2011

2011-11-21T22:41:00.002+08:00

it's over!

it's ALL OVER!!!

finally.

the A'Levels have ended.

okay, econs wasn't too bad.

yeah.

couldn't say it was tough, couldn't say it was easy.

manageable i'd say.

alright.

today's been good.

at the end of the paper, i wanted so much to shout and scream joy, ecstasy.

yeap.

but couldn't.

last day in the Grey.

i made an effort to tuck in the uniform properly okay.

heh!

anyways.

made plans already!

yeap.

dying my hair tomorrow.

fast eh!

oh, a big thank you to all my invigilators.

would really like to thank them for staying in the extra 45min and 30min each time.

would like to thank Ms Jessica Gao once more for everything.

got her a thank you card.

she really went through great extents to get everything for me: when the printer ran out of ink, when there was a need to check on how to type out the answers.

thank you.

to all my teachers that actually read my blog.

LOL!

i doubt any but heck it.

thank you for everything.

left Mr Whitby a picture of his beloved H1s 2011.

heh.

printed it out with my home's photo printer.

awesome huh!

anyways.

think that's about it.

had a dinner at NP with best friend to recognize liberation.

HA!

she was there suffering under bio.

thank God i never took bio.

i guess, i really need to thank God for seeing me through this 2 years.

the pain was tremendous but joy was greater.

thanks for all the graces and the great friends made in band, GP class and all others.

thank you all of you guys.

In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

amen.

20 November 2011

2011-11-20T01:11:00.002+08:00

20-11-2011.

hmmm..

1 more day.

just 1 more.

and when all is lost, we live in delusion to comfort ourselves because nostalgia pushes us to do so.

hmmm..

just felt like saying that.

experienced that earlier today.

yeap.

alright then.

good night.

God bless.

19 November 2011

2011-11-19T00:43:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required." - Winston Churchill

18 November 2011

2011-11-18T23:29:00.002+08:00

okay, rant ahead:

faced a jerk at Carls Junior today.

yeap.

fat piece of lard!

ASSHOLEEE!!

if you had wanted my seat(s), all you needed to do was ask.

even the staff did not chase me out.

and hello!

use your tiny eyes and open them up!

there's a sign that ALLOWS people to study there, even during peak hours.

bitch.

anyways.

he took pictures of me.

i smiled while he took the side view of us.

mingshi and charmaine in one.

jeremy and me in another.

asshole.

i think there's a law against this right?

to sue people who took pictures of us.

whatever.

then he preposterously shouted across so UNCIVILIZEDLY whether to Stomp us or Facebook us.

wonderful.

on how courteous are we.

i should throw the question back at you right?

how COURTEOUS are you for shouting across and taking pictures of others without consent.

okay, i'm curious.

if someone does see the picture, please give me the link on my twitter.

thanks!

@leonieVINCENT

heh.

coward.

you don't dare to speak up but only daring to be a computer warrior.

whatever~

anyways.

don't let such pieces of lard spoil the mood.

heh.

had a good day studying and catching up with Jeremy and Shaun.

yeap.

awesome.

thanks guys.

JP was flooded with people cause of 2pm.

they came for an hour, appeared for 30-40min and then disappeared.

couldn't see them at all.

whatever..

heh.

i ain't totally infatuated with them.

anyways.

heading for my Europe tour's briefing tomorrow.

heh.

alright.

time to sleep.

full revision tomorrow and sunday.

the screwed up econs paper 1 is haunting me.

made my plans for my post-As already.

all the dinners and outings.

heh.

i think i'll need to find a part time job so as to not become a delinquent.

yeap.

i'll feel guilty for constantly taking money from mummy though i know she'll give me.

hais..

can't exploit that benefit luh.

alright then.

God bless us all!

17 November 2011

2011-11-17T19:12:00.002+08:00

an encapsulation of relief took over upon the end of the SEA history paper.

'time's up, please stop typing' has never sounded better.

somehow, SEA history has been my greatest fear alongside everything else.

feeling so much better.

it's like, i feel so relieved that i feel like crying.

heh.

really, it's unexplainable.

today's paper was alright.

the best thus far.

yeah.

i ain't saying that i'll definitely do well but i feel better.

i guess this is good?

it's like the first time i could write out the content and planned well.

1 more.

just 1 more paper to go!

i can do this.

econs paper 1 was quite messed up but i guess i'll have to buck up more for my paper 2 then.

yeah.

i remember ms lim's face when i admitted to her that i didn't study the night before for paper 1.

just let it go.

alright then.

shan't talk already.

tata.

God bless us all.

16 November 2011

2011-11-16T12:33:00.004+08:00

all that i ain't confident in came out in paper 1.

how wonderful.

elasticities.

allocative efficiency.

-___-

ain't sure.

question was hell lot better though.

enough about the A's.

i kinda have that feeling i won't really do well in the end.

whatever, SEA history tomorrow.

expectations.

let's just keep that in mind.

but let it hinder your progress.

God bless us all.

14 November 2011

2011-11-14T22:10:00.003+08:00

the unpredictable thing about life is that at any juncture, you can just lose it.

Rest in peace Aunt Kasy.

she was a loving aunt to me.

my mum's best friend from primary school.

30 years of friendship with daily conversations.

may the Lord be with her.

amen.

today's lit was okay, worrying but shan't worry no more.

what's over is over, time to look forward.

it seems like every major exam i take, something's bound to happen.

O'levels, mummy fell into depression and had to stay in hospital for close to 2 weeks.

this year, mummy's migraine became more serious and was hospitalized the other day.

at least the MRI scans were clear of tumours.

on top of that, my relatively close aunt to me, to us, to my family; had just passed away.

hmmm..

shan't talk any further.

God bless us all.

13 November 2011

2011-11-14T00:46:00.002+08:00

enlightening Mass by Father _____ just now.

i think he's a visiting Father.

and apparently, i think i had confession with before, this year i think.

for the mass confession before easter.

heh.

he's interesting.

brought up many insightful points which i dwelled on for a while before studying after church.

so what's fulfillment?

anyways.

lit later!

i'm hoping Mr Whitby's phrases stick in my head and all.

1 more week!

woo and it's over!

booked an appointment with my hairdresser to bleach my hair!

i shall get it brown!

a lighter brown as compared to my current one.

alright then.

God bless me!

i can do this!

11 November 2011

2011-11-11T15:20:00.001+08:00

okay.

math paper 2 was substantially better.

solved a 6-marks question right on the dot at 11.11am.

HA!

coincidental much.

last consultation with Mr Whitby was really insightful.

i need to work really hard for lit man!

God bless me this weekend.

10 November 2011

2011-11-10T19:40:00.002+08:00

math, seriously?

i did the question before.

you don't label (i) (ii) that links and (iii) for something that doesn't.

history, i just hope that was enough.

it just feels not enough..

i'm afraid i tied my answers properly.

and after next week, i'm liberated.

wait for it..

9 November 2011

2011-11-09T20:43:00.001+08:00

first paper ain't so bad.

"Can prejudice be eliminated?"

tomorrow's the murder.

hais..

i'm nervous.

suddenly feeling so inadequate.

God bless me..

8 November 2011

2011-11-08T20:46:00.002+08:00

this is it.

let's do this!!

"Thou searchest out my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou dost beset me behind and before, and layest thy hand upon me."

Pslams 139:3-5

have faith!

God bless us all!

7 November 2011

2011-11-07T01:19:00.001+08:00

who's up on the 21st of November!

14 more days!

5 November 2011

2011-11-05T13:03:00.001+08:00

what a bad time to be falling sick.

hais..

antibiotics, here comes leon!

1 November 2011

2011-11-01T03:41:00.003+08:00

a happy birthday to my Godma!

heh.

thanks for being there for me too and taking care of me.

i've lost ideas on what to blog about.

oh.

i'm going to europe.

done.

LOL!

not in the mood to elaborate.

planning to sleep and wake up in 4 hours time to head to school for consultation.

what a bummer.

i'm still feeling nervous for the A'Levels.

somehow the fear of not doing well kicks in.

i'm trying.

i'm trying really hard.

i hope it all pays off.

alright then.

a quote to share with you guys before leaving.

“We’ve always been and we will always be a nation of immigrants from all over the world. And out of many, somehow we’re able to forge ourselves into one people; and this is the place where the highest hopes can be reached, and the deepest and most sincere dreams can be made real.” – President Obama, speaking at the National Italian American Foundation Gala

God bless us all.

happy all Saints' Day by the way!

31 October 2011

2011-10-31T02:22:00.001+08:00

it'll begin in Rome.

28 October 2011

2011-10-28T02:35:00.000+08:00

lowering expectations to reduce disappointment.

27 October 2011

2011-10-27T03:13:00.001+08:00

i hope i can sit for the test on my birthday next year. it'll be the best present for me.

27 October 2011

2011-10-27T02:40:00.000+08:00

and in life, you win some, you lose some.

22 October 2011

2011-10-22T19:31:00.000+08:00

exactly a month from now, i'll be done with my A's.

let's go!

20 October 2011

2011-10-20T23:11:00.003+08:00

and what do we seek?

it's 20 days from 20 October 2011 to the 'A' Levels for me.

God bless me.

12 October 2011

2011-10-12T16:18:00.035+08:00

can you imagine.just a while back, i was blogging about how i got accepted into NJC.

and now?

i'm bidding it farewell.

friday's the last day of official school.

time zooms by real quickly huh?

i think i'm going to do a small photo post since the time i was in NJC.

i just took an hour to collate all the photos by date(at least what i remember)

yeap.

if your face ain't here, it's not cause you didn't make an impact in my life through NJC but i can't find a picture/ i got too many pictures for that one event already.

just understand.

i'll get a picture with all my teachers this friday to finish it off.

so, here goes:

first picture of me in NJC clothing. i can't find anymore before this.

my first new friend in the school. =]

i love inspirational pictures.
my dearest OG13!
a few of us. playing some game. LOL!

the OG again.

2 of my wonderful seniors in the NJCSB.

Xiangyi!!
Regina!!

mummy and i on the Singapore Flyer
Archbishop Nicholas Chia, Peijun, Ysabel and I! =]
and baptism came. i was born into the light.

i became a child of God.

my birthday card from the section! Trumpets 2010
our little farewell for our dearest and pretty Ms Matilda.
outside Amara Hotel with mummy after our buffet.
Chang Jie and I during the ASEAN Plus at Dunman High School

joshua

bang!
the NJC group!
my council's people

NJC's group.
my Indian Delegation.
Jon and me! i'm wearing the RI blazer. HA!
best friends and I doing charity work
Merlion Park performance. my biggest screwed up performance ever.

but a learning experience.

Church buddies!
secondary school friends.

finally met up after 8 months. wow.
classmates.
just a narcissistic photo.
on the Sky Park of Duxton@ The Pinnacle.
our band family portrait!
Lyon and Leon!
my virgin trip to USS.
SAL JC Law Programme 2011
our in-charge and nadia.
Park!! my first Korean friend! and my Mentor! she holds a Masters in Law from Harvard!!
JC Poly Band Fest 2011. CJC and NJC in Wagner Band
the NJC group!
class chalet.
MEMEKS! celebrating new years' day.
Jasmin and I!
CNY performance.
Sam.
Marcus HOH!
Monica, Keziah and Charity.
posing for our band posters.
and i was a poster boy!!!
my dearest section mate, Adrian Teng Wei Jie.
2010 Trumpet Section.
MEMEKs. this time EVERYONE was there.
Track! i ran for it. heh!
i love the background. NTU Bike Rally.

the Singlet is just weird.

the stupid and hilarious things my section mate does.

wondering what i'm doing right?
shawn, yet another that impacted me a lot.
my succeeding SL and me.
this was what i was taking the paint for. Trumpet Section 2011.
my macbook pro that i got out of the blue.

trumpet tree.
MEMEKs at Igloo drinking.
right before SYF.
yiing huey, my vice-president for band.

she taught me a great deal.

thank you.
nearly a full section with charlotte choo.

Professor Ho Hwee Long and I on SYF day.
some huge-ass pencil i found in the band room.

you can find hell lot of stuff there.
my 18th birthday celebration at Dempsey Hill's Barracks with MEMEKs

and best friend, Mickey Ho.
my Jazz Band i set up for CIP. garnering 62.5 hours.

thank you all for that man.

Jazzified.
fanfare performers for Mr Gan Kim Yong.

Bernice!

yiing huey!
Marcus Hoh.

president of NJCSB.
saxophone section and me.

i think suits go nice with me. LOL.

somehow.
trumpet section and James Onggo.
Va, Jasmine and me.
Charmaine, another best friend of mine.
the Stage Band for the night.
ETUDE XXXV
thank you.
Mickey Ho!
such gratitude makes you feel appreciated for your work.

especially when you never expected it.
random shot after the concert.
Cathay Business Class flight to Thailand.
mummy and I in a tuk tuk in Thailand.
Bangkok's airport.
CMB that are in NJCSB.

buddies in band.

Kenneth and Shao Wei
Joshua Kwan!
part of the band.

Ms Nora- my cca teacher.

Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary School.

my sense of inspiration.

Ms Ellen Ang.

HOD of English for PHPPS.

always remember how she helped me and lent me good books in a bid to force me to read.

A Wrinkle in Time. a wonderful work.
one of my most favourite Chinese teachers in school.

Mr Wong.

forever tolerating my nonsense.

haha!

my role model.

my Chinese Teacher.

my pillar of support; forever encouraging me and remembering me.

Mdm Yeo(林老师)

she's one of those teachers, i'll NEVER forget.

the impact that she had on me is just deep and personal.

thank you!
new friends i met this year.
National Day Parade 2011.

thank you Clement for the tickets!
best friend and I.

Lim Ming Shi.
one of those friends you can't live without in/from NJC.
players for Shawn's composition.

Ataxia Perpetuum.
James Onggo!

really awesome trombonist.

should have not skipped saturday practices in year 1, i would've persuaded him to stay instead of leave for squash.

a damn encouraging and humble friend that lives in Orchard. HA!

just had to emphasize that.

Sarah and Sam!
bimbo!
my third Esplanade pass.

awesome!
Gary Lim.

great horn player.
Audrina. i knew her for a long time without recognizing her.

wonderful friend right?

thanks for always greeting me and talking with me nonetheless. =)
performers for Shawn's Ataxia Perpetuum's premier at the Esplanade.

wonderful group!
Mr Seow!

he should just be a full time conductor.

HAHA!

King's College graduate for music if i'm not wrong.

my lovely secondary school class.

most, at least.

"a known drop but an unknown ocean"

one of my best buddies in secondary school.

forever stepping on one another's foot both literally and analogically speaking but always remain good friends.

Shaun Ang Jun.
shall end with this picture of me.

taken at the Changi International Airport.

wonderful two years huh.

thanks everyone who has impacted me in some way or another.

be it positively or negatively, you've helped me grown to be better and stronger.

think that's lengthy enough so enough said.

as the memories flow back when i post these pictures PAINSTAKINGLY, 5 at a time, it just brings a smile to my face.

my fellow friends in my life(at least those applicable to this group that's going to follow), as we journey nearer to the 'A's, let's just give it our best and our all.

"Pain is temporary, quitting is forever"- Lance Armstrong.

one of my favourite quotes.

yeap.

before we end our life in NJC, my NJC friends please find me on friday.

let me take a picture with you guys one last time in uniform at least.

for keepsake.

God bless us all!

8 October 2011

2011-10-08T19:51:00.001+08:00

i nearly died today.

literally.

6 October 2011

2011-10-06T15:41:00.001+08:00

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice." Steve Jobs 1955-2011

R.I.P Steve Jobs.

May the Lord be with you.

God bless us all.

2 October 2011

2011-10-02T01:05:00.000+08:00

"don't study out of fear, you'll be too stressed to even absorb"
yeap.
agree.
it'll end up being counter productive.

shall strive to improve and improve.

it's all in the phrasing.

time to get working!

oh yeah, happy birthday to you mummy!

thanks Godma for all the help!

hehe.

God bless me!

i can do this!!

27 September 2011

2011-09-27T19:53:00.001+08:00

just when you thought you were alright after a lot of hard work.

carelessness kicks in and you were wrong.

26 September 2011

2011-09-26T21:44:00.000+08:00

the sudden drop in body temperature to 33.4 degree celsius.

what is wrong?

23 September 2011

2011-09-23T15:54:00.001+08:00

"expression has caused your poor performance"

this has been ringing in my head.

21 September 2011

2011-09-21T19:08:00.001+08:00

i just wanna lay on soft carpet grass

and watch the clouds go by,

enjoy the breeze,

the sun set.

20 September 2011

2011-09-20T19:07:00.002+08:00

what's pushing me ain't the fact that i want to get into the course of my choice.

moreover it's the innate want of not being able to accept another mediocre set of results.

twice, it's enough.

can't say that it's bad.

but yet, they aren't good.

come to think of it, the fear of failing is indeed a shortcoming in itself.

50 days.

i need to start running this final lap already to peak at the end.

God bless me.

17 September 2011

2011-09-17T00:08:00.003+08:00

in life i feel we shouldn't free associate.

like how we should not free associate all Muslims to be radical religious fundamentalists.

found a song which proves just it.

here it is.

Change our Hearts Lyrics

Actions are judged by their intentions
And every man shall be judged accordingly
And whatever you keep inside your heart
It can not be hidden from Him

Earn your living in a lawful way be mindful of what you say
Be sincere when you pray today could be your last day
Bear each other no malice greed and faith can’t co-exist in the same heart

Oh Lord only You can change our hearts
We call upon You to do so
So that we may submit to You
Oh Lord only You can change our hearts

The world we live in today can be so cold
And a man’s heart can be as hard as stone
What will it take for us to make love conquer hate
When will we learn from our mistakes

Earn your living in a lawful way be mindful of what you say
Be sincere when you pray today could be your last day
Bear each other no malice greed and faith can’t co-exist in the same heart

Oh Lord only you can change our hearts
We call upon You to do so
So that we may submit to You
Oh Lord only You can change our hearts

Envy jealousy falsehood hypocrisy greed and dishonesty
Remove them Lord remove them from our hearts

Self control gentleness modesty humbleness sincerity truthfulness
Place them in our hearts

Loyalty faithfulness generosity and kindness Trust and honesty
Place them in our hearts

Oh Lord only You can change our hearts
We call upon You to do so
So that we may submit to You
Oh Lord only You can change our hearts

yeap.

it's by a Muslim man called Abdullah Rolle.

think about it..

shall it like this, a short post.

one thing.

Johnny English Reborn was GOOOD!

enjoyed it thoroughly.

thanks Mickey for booking the tickets.

it was a full house.

alright then.

God bless us all.

15 September 2011

2011-09-15T22:21:00.002+08:00

it's exactly 5 months after i've turned 18.

okay, i don't feel much different.

looking in the mirror, i can't believe i've turned 18.

like seriously.

hmmm..

perhaps i did change a bit from then though it cannot be seen from the outside, but i know on the inside, i see a lot of things differently right now.

today marks the last preliminary examinations of my life.

wow.

a big feat huh!

went through it like 3 times?

that's enough.

math was a flop, blanked out on a couple of statistics formulas.

damn.

i studied quite hard for this math paper.

i really hope to get a D or something.

can't say i will fare well for all.

somehow, i ain't confident.

i could type out and answer the questions but there's this insecurity that says it's not enough, somehow somewhere, it's lacking something.

but i'd say i tried my best given all circumstances.

especially since last wednesday.

really had the mood to study.

FIRST TIME in my life, i studied about 9.5hours each day.

amazing right?

everyone that knows me would know that i usually just study at most 2 hours or something.

so i'd say so you cynics out there, i am proud of myself for doing that.

shall increase the number and quality of it.

yeap.

i'm going to start studying during the weekends, 2 days of rest first.

heading to meet mickey ho tomorrow.

shall see what to do after that.

went for a nice run.

i guess it helped me to relax quite a bit.

tried to do pull ups with my wrist in this state.

managed 5 and then i stopped.

didn't want to risk trying it.

good news, doctor says i can start light work out on my hand but no bowling.

i wanted to do that today.

hmmm..

whatever.

giving it to the end of the year.

hopefully, my wrist will be able to last writing longer.

during the math paper, close to the 2.5hour mark, it started hurting.

remembered ms oon's remark and decided to push and just clear the paper.

don't deny it hurt thereafter but i guess it's exams, you're given only one chance and one only.

heard this song recently.

If I Die Young

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh Oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

it got me wondering.

what i want when i die young.

if i die young.

just what if.

i want to be burned in white.

full white suit?

with my baptism gown over.

with my lovely tie that's in my cupboard that i've never worn yet.

O_O

not forgetting.

my beloved gold cornet.

it'll be burned with me or buried with me.

yup.

my crucifix will be donated to the church.

i guess my other belongings i don't really care?

macbook up for grabs?

HAHAHAH.

most probably give to some foundation.

my LV too i guess?

LOL!!!

whatever..

personal belongings will leave it to mummy to decide.

HAHA.

what caught me the most is that what taylor swift says about "funny when you're dead people start listening"

the paradox is just immensely realistic.

Einstein was mocked as a kid, but when he died?

he was hell famous for all his 'nonsense' that he found out.

wow.

not sure if i would even leave such an impact in this world.

remembered one poetry that Mr Whitby did with us.

on how this poet was writing that when we kill a fly in a book, it still leaves a mark.

a mark on that page.

when we die, we just disappear from the earth.

we can't even leave a mark on the page, metaphorically and literally.

as funny as this sounds, i want to make a difference before dying.

idealistic and all but i want to.

somehow, some way.

i will.

my teeth are becoming perfect soon.

the gap left is only about half a centimeter now.

was thinking of putting up the before pictures but it's weird and unglam.

heheh.

whatever~

i guess one load is off.

awaiting 9th November for the motherload.

LOL.

okay.

the pun was rather intended cause there's a game called motherload.

shall sleep early today.

exceptionally early relative to my past few days.

yeap.

should i go for a swim in the morning?

i'll break my chain of not swimming in 5 years though.

alright then.

God bless us all.

10 September 2011

2011-09-10T17:18:00.001+08:00

the most inappropriate time to be blogging when i'm in the midst of prelims.

wow.

it's exactly 60 days to A's.

hmmm..

anyways, noticed?

i've changed my blog skin!

it's in courtesy of Xawn.

HAHAHA!

thanks man.

totally owe you one for this.

couldn't think of a better picture to be used so i just used this.

yeap.

anyways, mummy and my little brother is back!

safely, that's what matters.

yeap.

she took like close to 2 hours to unpack.

that's how much she bought back.

can't understand how she managed to stuff so much stuff into the luggages.

she went with 3 and came back with 4.

O_O

apparently they were overweight by a total of 12kg for her and my younger brother.

but the customs at hong kong just let them through like that.

haha.

finally i've got my HTC Incredible S's covers to change about.

yeap.

mummy got a couple back from me since it's like darn difficult to find them in Singapore.

honestly, if you don't know what i'm going through, ya better not just presume, overgeneralize and sum it up with a simplified solution that you think will work.

apparently, it doesn't work this way.

yeah.

been studying really hard these final few days.

really happy and proud of myself.

never did that before ya know?

headed to the airport to study with shawn tan.

did up quite a bit of math.

at least i've topics that i'm RELATIVELY confident of right now.

yeap!

Maclaurin, functions, complex numbers, inequalities?

yeah.

stats got better.

saw Mr Whitby on friday.

it was good.

yeap.

he said he saw improvement.

don't you just feel happy when you finally received compliments after not having them from him before.

somehow when he was going through a compare and contrast poetry exercise, i managed to recall all the literary functions though some i just muttered my breath.

it's just damn awesome when you hear the correction answer being the same that you've muttered.

honestly, i was happy.

i guess i'm heading for Mass tomorrow at probably 1045?

i love that Mass time.

the choir's one of the better ones.

LOL.

oops.

i did not just say that!

HAHAHA.

probably heading to bed after clearing up my global economy.

i should have started studying as hard and thorough as these few days from last week.

okay, i think there's expression/grammatical errors in the above sentence.

alright.

off for the problems of the global economy.

God bless us all!

3 September 2011

2011-09-02T23:23:00.003+08:00

doesn't it always happen?

inappropriate things happening at inappropriate times?

or perhaps, doing inappropriate things at inappropriate times?

just something i felt like saying.

yeap.

i can't say i'm exactly happy right now cause things just culminate i guess?

let's start with the usual.

the exam stress.

who the hell ain't stress about the prelims or A's.

come on, no self-pity should be taken for this.

it doesn't warrant it.

heard people talking behind my back about my use of the laptop for my A's.

i'm benefiting like tremendously from it but who are you to judge whether i'm deserving of the use of it or not.

i don't really give a damn.

you don't know how pain the tendon gets after typing for more than 3 hours, much less to say writing.

lucky numbers in life..

hmmm..

i don't really believe in such things apparently.

superstition just ain't my thing.

if it is time to go, you'll go.

you can't simply evade it.

no matter how much you try.

i shall generalize my next chunk as much as possible.

the issue is that that shouldn't be the case.

i guess the unending possibilities of life crops up from time to time huh?

circumstances change, it'll never be constant; it's simply impossible.

as a result, life changes accordingly.

expectations will be reduced due to the inability to achieve them.

as humans, are we really able to accept the lowered expectations that we've set for ourselves?

can we allow it to happen and be grateful for it?

or just perfunctorily play along with it?

perhaps many a times, we try our best to do it.

when we fail, there are adages that say "if you first don't succeed, try, try again.".

directly antithetical to that would be "if you failed, it's time to change your method"

well..

not so antithetical afterall since the former doesn't stay whether to try again the exact same way or not.

hmmm..

well, the idea is there.

we change our methods of doing things ever so often.

are they actually good?

or should we just stick to the original way and go about things?

not easy to even discern.

are the things that we yearn tangible?

do they fit what we expect?

if they don't, why do we still go for them?

the innate stubbornness of humans cause us to do so.

hmmm?

does it?

or is it just pride that we want to attain what we set out to achieve that prevents us from turning back?

ha!

new perspective to look at it right?

i'm learning to let go.

no point having many things to achieve and in the end achieving none.

why not just aim for a few, get them and then go for more later?

pragmatic?

okay.

that over.

actually it isn't.

but i can't generalize it any further so yeap, have to settle for that.

had a consultation with Mr Whitby on wednesday, the last day of the my last 3rd term of my life.

wow.

time flies.

i'm taking my A's in 68 days.

and it was just recently i came to NJC.

80 days after it, my high school life ends and enlistment awaits.

hmmm..

the never-ending phases that arise huh.

anyways, was talking about lit consultation and i digressed to the pace of life.

i should not panic during a lit paper.

i end up writing no sense at all.

totally rolled my eyes at what i was writing.

didn't understand it myself, how could i have expected my teachers to understand it then?

wonderful me.

since the extra time is there, i'm taking my papers slowly this time.

yeap.

3 hours and 45min for a lit paper.

wow.

3 hours and 45 min for each history paper i take.

2 hours and 45 min for each econs paper i take.

these are much needed time given that they're humans papers.

yeap.

thanks be to God for it.

i guess there's always a silver lining for every cloud huh.

alright then.

i shall sleep early and study tomorrow.

God bless us all..

26 August 2011

2011-08-26T20:43:00.003+08:00

sounds weak but after 6.5hours of typing, my hand seems to be having pakinson's disease.

it's shaking on its own and all.

gosh.

i had a lot of time for both.

should have studied even harder then i'll have more to write.

goodness.

i must work hard, capitalize on the fact that i'm allowed to type.

7 essays today.

it was no joke.

i'm lazy to type.

scared of typing.

that's all i'm going to say.

i'm going to work hard.

Mr Lim, i promise.

God bless us all!

24 August 2011

2011-08-24T20:28:00.002+08:00

77 days more!

alright, what i'm going to type next should not be taken wrongly as me showing off.

i'm a relatively happy boy.

yeap.

SEAB has replied to Mr Bek who conveyed to Mr Whitby and me that they have approved of me using a laptop to type for the A's and Prelims as well as grant me extra time.

basically for GP, 50min extra in total, an hour for econs, an hour and a half for history and math; lastly 45min for lit since i'm doing H1.

yeap.

the coolest part?

they're going to install a printer right next to me!

i just laughed out loud like REALLY badly when Mr Whitby told me earlier.

it just sounds funny.

i'll be in the room with the other 'special arrangements' kids for all my exams apparently.

yeap.

one fact, i'm the first in NJC's history to be typing.

wow!

another.

i've troubled nearly all the A'level committee and all my teachers.

i'm just so grateful to you guys and thankful for having you all to help me.

especially Mr Whitby.

he's really one of those personal mentors that you'll be able to rely on for everything.

honest fact.

he had to argue with the internal examinations board who insisted that i was to type for a Math paper.

like seriously?

-____-

he argued for me cause it'll be nuts to type for a math paper.

their logic was that since i'm typing for everything else, i should type for math too.

what the hell.

whatever the process was, the end outcome is that i'll be writing for math.

hopefully my tendon does not hurt while i write for the 3hour 45min paper.

yeap.

God really bless me for this.

i guess everyone must be thinking how great this is.

i suppose it is.

i suppose it isn't.

the amount of trouble you have to go through, scrutiny and the following repercussions ain't that funny afterall.

in my certificate, it'll be noted that i have had special arrangements set up.

this means that i'll have to keep my medical slip for the rest of my life.

might as well laminate it.

o_O

point is, though all my teachers have affirmed me that the universities wouldn't discriminate; including the ex-NJC Econs HOD Mr Goh Soon Hoe.

yeap.

apparently, he's my trumpet tutor's brother.

LOL!!

small world.

whatever, that wasn't important.

i must say, NJC does have extremes.

they have many teachers there that are just giving their 100% and all in teaching.

really heartfelt gratitude and admiration for them.

labeling them amazing would not do them enough justice.

they're close to eminence.

that's the best i can think of now.

just a little update about life.

yeap.

i do hear about some complaining that it ain't fair that i'm getting both privileges.

but i don't really give a damn cause they know the plight i'm in.

it sucks cause you get restricted by typing at times too.

the tendon tenses up, it's game over.

alright then.

i'm off for SEA history and econs before sleeping.

i must do well.

i will.

i shall prevail.

God bless us all!

21 August 2011

2011-08-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

today's been a great day.

okay, seldom do i say that can!!!

oh oh!

before i continue with the reasons, something to say.

80 days to death.

92 days to rising again.

woah.

what i just said, is it counted as blasphemy?

LOL!!

today's just been great!

apart from the fact that i woke up late for 1045 Mass, thus needing to resort going for the 1230 Mass instead.

lol.

everything just went smoothly today.

thanks be to God.

from the moment i went down to flag a cab and all.

cab came less than 3min of me waiting for it.

met a new friend a church.

well, not exactly new since i knew him but didn't know his name for a couple of weeks.

LOL!!

the coffee guy that volunteers alongside Terence and Goddad.

now i've got a definite source of coffee is i go for Mass every sunday morning.

yeap.

connections are important in life.

hehehe..

alright.

pardon my high mood right now.

i have no idea why.

anyways, his name is Joshua.

my 8th Joshua that i know already!

goodness!

common name, note to self: never name my child Joshua.

LOL!!

but i know like 17 Shawns/Shauns/Seans.

all 3 different spelling but same pronunciation.

wonderful huh.

thus the differentiate them with adjectives.

i'm sure some of them know some of the adjectives i use.

hehe.

anyways, thanks Joshua for the coffee!!!

had a great Mass today.

was just dreaming of this hymn, and we sang it today.

coincidental huh.

i woke up humming to it while hearing it in my dream.

can't remember the title now though.

uh-oh.

i was supposed to go look for the hymn thereafter!!!

took a bus down to meet Shawn Tan up for revising work.

GP.

yeah, i just realize you need to work for structure.

examples have never been my issue.

shawn's is the exact opposite.

lol.

he understood Mr Ng better in that sense.

yeap.

mutually exploited one another's edge.

okay, to put it in a nicer way; we helped one another.

headed for an awesome dinner at Crystal Jade with shawn to reward ourselves.

yeap.

ate what i was craving for.

i'm a happy boy.

to end the day.

i'm just feeling happy and optimistic.

yeap.

somehow.

LOL!!

in the midst of the perils, i'm finding joy.

nothing much more to go on about.

i shall clear up ASEAN tonight before sleeping.

still anticipating SEAB's reply on my use of laptop and extension of time for the A's.

damn.

inefficient man..

alright.

that's that then.

God bless us all!

16 August 2011

2011-08-16T18:39:00.002+08:00

85 days to hell.

97 days to salvation.

LOL!

what a parallel i'm drawing but they seem to fit the idea well.

okay, i'm going to count down on a daily basis to bring motivation for myself to study.

yeap.

i must say i'm going to fail my prelims at the rate things are going.

no, it ain't cause i've not started revision.

it's cause i can't write for more than an hour(tried it! )

which means, GP, econs, lit and history are all screwed.

i can barely finish 1-2 essays and my right wrist will hurt.

sent in my application for extension of time for my A's along with the use of a laptop.

according to Mr Bek, it's going to take 2-3weeks for processing.

so, i'll definitely fail half of my subjects that are taken before priorities/privileges/assistance or whatever you want to call it, is given to me.

everyone's telling me how lucky i am to be able to use the laptop for the A's(that's if it's approved).

honestly?

i don't really think so.

i reiterate this.

it sucks to have a broken wrist.

you can't do much.

it's demoralizing.

needless to say, Gene's birthday was great.

managed to catch up with mickey ho thereafter.

yeap!

NDP was great.

it's the only day where the opposition doesn't go against the PAP.

yeah.

i agree with the need of an opposition but not to the point of wanting to kick PAP out from the ruling party.

it's going to screw singapore up.

was talking to my ex econs HOD before having such thoughts.

oh.

here's my little rant:

i really really don't like how some Singaporeans are; following suit to a single comment made by the opposition, treating the words so sacredly that those are the only words they know how to use to retort the government.

seriously, do these people actually consider what the opposition proposes in depth?

i know of learned people who who does not completely agree with the ruling party but know that the opposition's worse off from their policies.

some policies put forth sounds really good but in essence are they tangible?

are they viable for our country's context?

will they result in greater harm or benefit for the country?

especially economic policies that some suggested.

seriously, they're utter crap.

nationalizing our transport system, dissolving Temasek and GIC, etc.

if you want to blame the government and compare our nation with other country's please do it on a common basis.

don't compare earnings from investments done by Temasek and GIC with Norway or China.

if you use brains enough, you'll know that those 2 countries have natural resources, Singapore doesn't.

the basis for comparison is flawed and biased so how can you say that Singapore's 4.6% returns is not good enough?

honestly, Singaporeans have taken for granted a lot of things and just seek to have more and more.

it's human nature to want to have a higher standard of living.

but do know the limits and that it takes time to get there.

i don't deny, things like inflation should have been dealt better with by the government but we should just sit back and see what the government has in stored for us before concluding them to be incumbent.

that's just my thinking.

don't quote it out of context.

thank you.

alright then.

shall head off do up some econs and international history before crashing down on bed.

oh. a little something i just felt like typing.

It's easy to criticize but it's difficult to give constructive feedback to help. Take the difficult task, it's more rewarding for the greater good. - Leon Vincent Chan

God bless us all!

7 August 2011

2011-08-07T15:34:00.003+08:00

today is just one of those days, a stressful JC kid like myself can just lay back and sleep in into the afternoon.

it's a marvel that we can still do that from the fact that A's are in less than ninety four days.

but the best bit is that in less than 106 days at 5pm, it's all over!

okay, see how much time i had to waste just to calculate that?!

gosh!

it's time to start clearing my work already man!

1 chapter a day and i'll still do well cause(i hope since i've yet to calculate total number of chapters for all my subjects) it's revision till the A's man!

picked up my sources of motivation.

so you won't see me on my macbook anytime unless i'm doing work, i hope.

i'll only use it to type essays etc.

i'm cutting down my internet usage cause i need to focus.

the moment it's on, i get nothing done.

P.S. i suspect i've got ADHD at times, my attention span is so darn low.

O_O

munching on donuts as i'm typing this.

question is whether i should skip school tomorrow.

can exploit on my 45-days MC!

hell yeah!

but a pity since it's my last in NJC or in a school for the matter and the juniors need help in playing the marches and school songs.

dilemma of life..

LOL!

kidding.

wanted to make it sound dramatic there but i guess i kinda failed huh!

saw a scene in church yesterday that made me realize what i want in life.

i shall work towards it.

and just to clarify, no, ain't striving to be a priest.

LOL!

it's something else.

anyways, life's been a drag.

the wrist is getting better at least?

hmmm..

that's a consolation.

however, i really can't write for a long time still.

tried on friday during consolidation for history to write into my notes and it hurt after the 45min lecture.

hais..

need to do something about it.

oh oh!

i've to call up my doctor at Gleneagles.

yeah.

private doctors aren't cheap but it's worth it.

everytime i go there, consultation plus some X-ray/scope would cost $160+.

yeap.

so people, do strive to be a doctor, the earnings are great.

simply great to do running again.

my wrist is more stable so i tried running.

but i can't really jog that well cause of restrains and the fear if i move my hands too much, it'll strain the wrist.

yeah.

so i looked weird not moving my arms while running.

should i cut my hair?

i think i should.

haha!

okay, that was just talking to myself.

looking forward to tomorrow and tuesday!

heading for Gene's 21st birthday and heading for the actual NDP with bf!

a big thank you to CLEMENT PANG for the tickets!

mingshi, be glad i'm bringing you there.

*clarification: bf stands for best friend. HA!

time to revise through my literary terms in depth already!!!

to put them into memory.

yeap!

i need to spend more time in life in silence; to reflect about my journey so far!

yeap.

to take stock of how i've been and how to improve.

i need to know how to play with html.

anyone can teach me!?

oh oh!

i've changed my Twitter's name.

@leonieVINCENT

alright then.

that's that.

God bless us all!

3 August 2011

2011-08-03T16:52:00.002+08:00

okay.

just took a damn nice photo in school the other day for my blog.

sadly it's in school uniform or it'll be perfect.

yeap.

don't think i'll edit it since it is nice in itself.

now, all i need is someone to do the html up for me.

gosh!

that's the hard part.

just had a talk with the school's dean.

i guess i have a lot of things to do up.

okay.

time to set realistic goals and shut myself off from the internet.

it is the root of all evil.

for now at least.

i think i'll be staying in school to study very soon since i can't exactly study at home due to the distractions.

yeah.

really have to find fat joshua, charmaine and whoever to study with me.

to nudge me back on track when i'm drifting away.

thanks Sharon. (this one is random)

i need to practice more instead of playing catch-up constantly for my subjects.

if not i'll never improve and just stagnate; eventually rotting in my own hole.

that's just sad.

had this inter class current affairs quiz.

gosh, it was more of a history/geography/general knowledge rather than current affairs.

only the finals were current affairs.

got into the semis at least.

well, not such a big deal after all.

learnt to appreciate my China team mates.

yeap

yu meng and jian xiao.

i credited them alright!!

anyways.

time flies.

if i'm not wrong its only 97 days to the A's.

gosh.

friggin' sick of the counting down but it's for the bigger picture.

it's time to push harder.

this is the last 100m.

correction 97m.

LOL!

1 day translates to 1m.

yeap.

alright then.

it's time to go off and back home to freshen up and push it through.

tata guys!

God bless us all!

28 July 2011

2011-07-28T19:50:00.003+08:00

here's a quick update of life before things go worse tomorrow.

not forgetting that i have to finish up my IH essay.

didn't attend school earlier today cause i had an appointment at Gleneagles to follow up on my wrist.

it's not easy or cheap okay.

but thankfully since i have a good doctor, i guess it's worth it.

anyways, a little update about it.

i'm getting a letter from my doctor to type for my A's.

probably time extension as well for subjects that i can't type- math and econs.

yeap.

he says it's recovering but it'll still take a while.

i'm now given a choice to wear the ugly splinter.

probably still wearing it cause i feel more secure with it on.

but when i'm typing or writing, i'll remove it.

one thing my doctor said to me hit me.

in life, it isn't about studies.

the fact is that this education system is a do or die kind of thing.

i guess in life, we should make it to be one for living, giving, loving and understanding.

studying is a part of it but we shouldn't let it consume us.

yeap.

just a little to think about.

made my way down to U Town in NUS today.

that place looks like a condominium apartment more than a hostel.

really makes me feel like staying there to study man.

it's really that nice.

sat at Starbucks to study a little while Atika was staring at her bidding.

HAHAH!!

the way she and i were thinking about how to bid and all was like us watching the stock market.

panicking when there were more bidders and all.

hilarious.

didn't do well for common tests this time.

mainly cause of misinterpretation of questions and not writing as fast as i think; made me lose a lot of links in between and just died.

i guess i would've done better if i read it properly or if i had done more outlines.

no more regrets, it's time to study.

here's what i've been thinking:

the entire concept of superficiality.

i don't know why, it's been intriguing me lately at how some people(not pointing at anyone in particular) can be so superficial about life.

what defines superficiality to begin with?

then again, who are we to judge whether one is superficial or not?

by social standards?

norms created by yet other people?

come to think about it, isn't that judging as well?

hmmm..

point is, are material goods and outlooks really that important.

no, i'm not only referring to just mere cosmetics.

it's the way we do things and treat people.

undeniably, i'm guilty of the former.

yeah, i only wear clothes with a brand, it's just the way i'm brought up.

i do try not to be too extravagant though.

the word is try.

don't you guys think that as people become more affluent, the idea of superficiality comes along with it?

we set greater expectations of life together with people.

we look down at those beneath the expectation deeming them unworthy of us.

doesn't that then translate to complacency?

i had something to go on with, kinda forgot.

okay.

but the idea is there ain't it?

i'm lagging in my revision schedule.

seriously.

totally ain't prepared for prelims nor A's.

the wrist isn't much encouraging for the matter.

i hate having a short attention span.

gosh.

it makes you lose the train of thought easily.

moral of the story?

when you have thought of something, do it.

contemplating makes the thought disappear.

alright.

i'm gong to begin on my international history and end the night with econs.

Feast day is this saturday!

i'm playing for it yo!

kinda excited for it.

hehe.

though i'm not exactly confident for it.

alright then.

think i shall stop stop writing nonsense.

wait a minute?

they're not nonsense.

lol.

they're my thoughts.

this is my blog,

alright.

blogskin will be changed soon.

hehe.

that's that.

God bless us all.

21 July 2011

2011-07-21T19:20:00.004+08:00

21 July 2011 marks the day that my little Godbrother Chris turns 1 month old!!

alright.

i love my Godparents.

that point had been established a long time ago i know.

hehehe.

within the span of 2 weeks, so many things have happened.

anyways.

you guys may be thinking why i was talking about surgery suddenly on facebook and not knowing what in the world has happened.

hint hint: follow me on Twitter at @LEONvincechan

it's cause i fractured my wrist on 11th July 2011 during pe; basketball.

stupid as it sounds.

i fell on my right wrist and back.

thank God my backbone is alright.

but my wrist isn't.

bottom of the story.

nearly had to do a surgery due to the negligent NUH doctors who advocated it along with the non-surgery way.

yeah.

point is, private doctors are better.

i went t Gleneagles yesterday and my doctor took 10 shots of X-ray and told me that my fracture is healing and i don't need surgery.

imagine if i hadn't done that, my wrist would have been cut open for nothing!!!!!

Gleneagles for the win!!!

my cool doctor there gave me 45 days of MC and no writing.

not allowed to carry much on my right hand to not aggravate it.

lol.

i exploited it already in GP, i admit.

i told Mr Ng i couldn't hand in my GP file cause i couldn't file.

he relented cause it is a fact, but i felt bad cause i did it very meanly.

okay.

it was a joke but still, i feel bad for him the way made it to be.

yeap.

anyways.

have been bringing my macbook EVERYWHERE i go to type out notes and tutorials.

hell, it's tiring to lug my macky.

can't complain though, i'm better at typing than writing.

anyways, my doctor would be writing a letter for me to SEAB to say that i can't write for extended periods which means my right hand can't last a 3 hour paper.

so he suggested typing.

but for papers that i can't like econs and math, i'll have extended time, or so he said.

yeap.

cool fact!

he's from NJC too!

LOL!!!

all my doctors are from here!!!

my dentist and now my Gleneagles doctor.

need to ask my dermatologist too.

hahahaa!!!

that's basically the long story cut short.

yeap.

sounds like there's a lot of benefits right?

but NO!

having a fractured right wrist is akin to having a useless right hand.

you can't do much.

really.

even pressing valves on my trumpet can be hard at times.

though i can't deny that MCs come in handy and the possibility of me using a laptop to type for my A's sound good.

but the fact is that, my wrist will take close to a year or longer to regain full utility.

which means, i can't strain it for the next year.

no push ups and chin ups.

apart from that, i should be okay.

so i guess my PES status for army will be downgraded again.

going back for a review next week though at Gleneagles once again to see the progress of my wrist.

thanks to all for the nice words/kind words/well-wishes, care and concern you've given me the past 2 weeks.

thanks to all who have been helping me so much; opening bottles cause i can't do that.

writing important things that i can't type out etc.

love you guys!!!!!

okay.

i think that's pretty much about it.

my schedule lately has still been so busy.

hais..

sickening.

hope i'll make it through all this.

i'm like currently waiting for my parents to get food home now.

gosh!

hungry like nuts!!!

i want Peperoni Pizzaria's pizza!!!!!

it's the correct spelling FYI.

yeap.

hais..

shall find someone to go with me soon!!!!

MUMMY!!!

hahaha.

then she'll pay for it.

one last thing before i go.

i've got a confession.

i like.

no, just kidding.

the confession's that: i've been neglecting math lately cause i can't write nor can i type out math on the laptop properly till i feel super bad for Mr Bek.

i'm sorry Mr Bek.

lastly, all those going through shit.

take it easily.

slow your thoughts down.

you'll soon realize that your issues aren't that big afterall, really.

been there, done that.

these 2 weeks have taught me a lot.

yeap.

lastly.

a big thank you for all who actually thanked me during the NJCSB's exco election 2011.

i was really touched though i may not show it with my comical and nonsensical expressions.

yeap.

i never knew i made such an impact...

that's that.

God bless us all!

5 July 2011

2011-07-05T15:48:00.002+08:00

i'm back!

let's make this a quick post.

as well as make it sound like the NS check up was a big hoo-ha!

well, it isn't.

4th July 2011.

as the many Americans are celebrating their independence day along with the JC and secondary school kids celebrating their Youth Day, i was stuck at CMPB for 7 stinking hours.

it wasn't too bad, at least Adrian, Shao Wei and Kenneth were there.

LOL.

went there and saw many in pe attire.

apparently, we chose not to wear it cause it's weird, so yeap.

imagine us going there in red pe pants.

yuck!

went there for registration, after the person had done mine, it was shao wei's turn.

the moment the lady scanned his IC, there was a blackout!

HAHAHAH!!

a joke man.

plus the context it was in: shao wei's computers just crashed and it seemed like he jinxed the system there too.

yeap.

heck the registration, they did it the manual way by typing in everything.

at the verification area/whatever area it's called, the person called my name, Chan Chun Kit Leon.

i went up and said, ' uhh.. you left out the Vincent. it's in my name now. '

they gave me a what-the-hell face and changed it for me and called my name up.

this is exactly how they did it.

' Leon VINCENT Chan please. '

LOL!!!!!

hilarity.

come on.

i know it's annoying but i have no choice but to insist about my name.

headed to check my ears first.

didn't know what to expect as to what kind of sounds to listen out for so i waited.

heard a slight buzzing sound, little did i expect that that was it.

LOL!!

i thought it was just the machine's sound or something.

the guy was an ass, gave the pissy face and intentionally increased the volume EXPONENTIALLY.

damn.

came to realize thereafter what kind of sounds they're going to play.

so stupid.

-___-

next up was the eye test.

the fella asked me ' are you a left hander or right? '

i look at him and said ' left hander turned right. '

he was like ' uhhh... ' x 1000.

LOL!

ended up choosing to hold the gun with my right hand since i'm trained with it.

the pee test was weird.

the bottle is so tiny.

gosh.

really tests you on how to aim.

-___-

blood test was annoying.

not cause i'm afraid but cause the fella was unfriendly.

condescending tone and all.

he used a syringe to draw blood instead of the usual method of letting it flow out.

this caused built up pressure.

so i held my hand on the plaster but then my file was about to drop so i changed to my right.

you know, when you carry things, your muscles naturally flexes right?

in this case, my right hand did.

next thing i knew, blood was dripping from my hand onto the floor.

i didn't notice till i saw the blood literally dripping.

put down my things and then asked the guy nearby for a tissue.

he gave me a piece and it wasn't enough.

gave 2 and then decided to give me the entire packet.

thanks man!!!

ended up staining my new GAP jacket.

hais..

sadded.

but i managed to remove the blood when i got back.

anyways.

i'm lazy to elaborate about the rest.

but, we saw a mulan there!

LOL!!

as in a girl who's getting enlisted.

she's quite pretty and hot ya know!

woah.

then i asked my medical officer there what's the need to check our dicks for.

so hold your horses people.

firstly, it ain't for STDs or HIV.

secondly, it ain't to mock you for being small down there.

thirdly, it ain't to check your puberty stage.

the actual reason was to check for abnormalities such as: those with 1 testicle, micro penises(meaning some tiny dick as the name suggests), uhh and other not normal stuff.

yeap.

apparently, he rationalized with me that some would be too shy to declare such things.

so the protocol became such that we have to show our dicks.

cause i heard those with such issues would not be sent to the front line or something.

waiting for the vocational assessment was hell.

2.5hours of waiting.

Gosh!!!

i only did half of the 20 patterning questions and then the time ran up.

some were really RIDICULOUS.

no joke man.

the number patterning was better.

i did till like question 17 and they stopped.

apparently i heard that the faster the thing lets you stop the module, the better it is.

hmmm..

another one on instructions, i cleared it.

the english one with regard to associating words together was also quick.

algebra was annoying.

another module which i couldn't complete.

the rest were good.

yeap.

end of the day i conclude i'm so not a math person.

-____-

the ones with words and common sense physics were no problem man!

hais..

the math totally made me feel stupid.

together with the patterning.

anyways.

that was about it.

i failed the ECG scan though.

so i'm now in PES D temporarily.

they said my heartbeat was too fast.

they referred me to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital for a specialist review.

quite dumb can!

i'm a runner, if i had heart issues, i would have died by now.

but who cares.

let them do what they want.

anyways.

Singaporeans, let's do our part and try to be gracious alright?

it's disheartening to see you guys ostracize a child with A.D.D like that.

story goes:

i was on the bus home and this kid with A.D.D came up.

point is, they can't control their actions.

some MI students gave him a condescending and mean look that said you are a freak.

i felt so sorry for that child.

all he wanted was attention by saying hi back to him.

yeah.

many a times, it's just up to us to take that little step out of our comfort zone for others.

that little step.

why can't we all just do it?

graciousness and courtesy seem as though they are big and unachievable.

in fact, they are not.

they are easily attainable if we put in the effort.

i don't see why most of us can't learn to be genuinely nice to others, be it a stranger or friend.

we're all humans aren't we?

i guess this distincts us; who are really humane and who are not.

who are really compassionate and who're just hardened.

yeah..

that's just a little food for thought.

yeap.

i shall get my Sony Nex5 at the end of the year!

woo!!

mummy asked me to get it the other day again.

i declined her a second time.

unbelievable huh.

cause i'm afraid it'll be a distraction as well as it being wasted in the sense that i buy it and don't utilize it much.

cause it's like my A's period now.

i won't be going out much.

it'll render it usless.

yeah.

i'm growing up!

i'm being more rational!

alright then.

i guess that's that.

shall head to do a little sampling and normal distribution first.

God bless us all!!

28 June 2011

2011-06-28T16:16:00.002+08:00

the common tests are finally over.

thoroughly amused by some.

hmmm..

interpret that as a who or what, i don't really have a specific to pin point anyway.

i make it sound like it's the end of A's.

okay..

i guess, i've kissed 36 marks good bye in math.

turns out, if i get an E, a lot of people are getting me lunch.

LOL!!

miraculous huh.

look at it 2 ways:

1. they're looking down at my math and thinking i would never make it(i kinda feel that way at times).

2. they're trying to motivate me as much as they can!

haha!

i guess, it's a double-sided coin.

histories have been oddly weird.

it seems like i've not done enough for them.

somehow what i have written seems to be lacking in depth and detail.

maybe it's just a feeling of insecurity but i guess, we'll see when the marking is done.

it's not so much of the grade right now but how to improve from there.

cliche, but who cares!

that's a fact.

sometimes, i would like to have my O'level script back to see where i have gone wrong.

weird but yeah.

alright.

i feel blessed.

it's like most of the things i want, i get them easily.

saw how grateful my friend was when his parents got him the same phone as me for his birthday.

i guess i should feel grateful for just getting it with merely a phone call to mummy one afternoon when the phone first came to Singapore earlier this year.

hmmm..

don't get me wrong, there's nothing to show off here by me.

just trying to count my blessings, out loud in the sense?

i guess i should stop asking for more.

realized that i've been getting a lot of things too easily in my life that i feel guilty.

like the other day, i told mummy i wanted a Sony Nex 5.

she agreed to just get me like that.

wow huh.

but came to think about it, i told her maybe at the end of the year or something.

come on.

you guys must be thinking, ' are you dumb or are you dumb? ' (that's on purpose)

no, i ain't dumb.

it's just that i know i won't be using it any time soon that much.

i'll be home most of the time and (attempting) to study and all.

what's the point of buying the camera and leaving it around when i just use it once a month? ( like how i do with my current digital camera).

senseless.

i'm growing up to be a sensible boy.

HAHAHA.

okay.

i shall correct that, i'm growing up to be a sensible young adult.

yeap.

though i very much want to remain a young boy.

scheduled my laser for the end of the year again.

1 last time before NS.

yeap.

that's if i can clear my standing board jump.

still can't jump that additional 2cm.

irritating!

oh.

i need to build up soon.

seriously..

i'm feeling too skinny(ya think!)

yeap.

it's like i want to be lean at the very least.

ohh..

i'm finding someone to run with me for the 42.195km Standard Chartered 2011 marathon.

no one's willing and able.

it's either one or the other.

sad huh.

so i'm trying to recruit someone to do so here.

do text me if you can guys!

i'm sure one of my friends out there(even those i've lost contact with) will be willing to run with me.

it's time to pack my notes and all.

thank God charmaine is coming tomorrow to help me with it.

yeap.

i've got like 8-10 piles around the house.

wonderful huh!

it's not messy, i know where my things are..

at least...

i think i'm going to snooze early tonight.

yeap.

i've created my shopping list.

i need to get shoes.

a cute laptop sleeve for my macbook.

a new school bag/outing bag.

shirts/t-shirts.

a small thin file.

spectacles.

what else?

that's all i can think of for now.

hehe..

harry potter.

it's coming out on 14th July.

i'm going to book tickets again.

wahahahah..

ming shi and charmaine.

you 2 be thankful i'm always doing the booking hor!

alright then.

enough babbling.

random much.

people, stop whining about what you don't have.

be grateful and count your blessings!!

here's a beautiful quote:

Let us not put off till the end of our life the care that we ought daily to take of our soul.

Saint John Vianney

God bless us all!

22 June 2011

2011-06-22T21:12:00.001+08:00

Okay, let's start with this.
Happy birthday Tim!!
Have an awesome 18th birthday.
=]

I'm here to talk about something.
Have you guys ever face a time when you are torn between to do the right thing and doing what you want?
Recently, I have.
To be honest, the decision making becomes so hard as you want to fulfil both your wants/ideals and yet wanting to do the right thing.
Just for clarification, the thing that you want may not be wrong but you know they carry traces of selfish intent.
Yeah.

In the end, though I was tempted to do the emtionally less difficult decision to cause things to fall apart, I took it in and fixed it back; which meant I did what was right.
No, hell no that I'm trying to prove to be noble and great.
Moreover.
I don't know why I did it in the end.
Maybe I just concluded that it was a pity that falling apart could be an option.
Whatever the case, I chose what I think was right and the best option at that point in time.

This is killing me.
SEA history.
And math.
They're literally killing me mentally.
I don't think I'll be able to finish the former's revision in time for tomorrow's test.
God, please help me.
I really tried my best already.
Somehow, things seem to be floating.
It's as though I know/remember and yet I don't.
Hnmm..
I have no idea why.

Congratulations to Goddad and Godma on having their second kid.
=]
Born on the 21st of June 2011.
I've gotten myself a second Godbrother.
HAHAHA.
Little Jeremiah and now baby Christopher.
Really happy for them.
=]
God bless the family.
Really grateful for Goddad even accepting me to be his Godson in the first place.
Thanks.

Alright then.
Enough digression and procrastination from my work.
Heading back right now.

God bless us all.
=]

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20 June 2011

2011-06-20T22:23:00.001+08:00

Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe: to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do.

St. Thomas Aquinas

17 June 2011

2011-06-18T01:21:00.002+08:00

alright.

i have no idea what am i doing awake at this hour.

yeap.

it's the screwed body clock i'm sure!

so many things i want to do this holidays, i guess i'll not have time for them and all.

it's like, i was supposed to club with mickey and group during the first week of june but preparations for Etude took precedence and yeah, didn't in the end.

have not been studying much eh.

died-ed.

it's like i've barely touched math can!

dang it!

i'm sorry mr bek!

i'll try my best.

SEA history revision itself is tedious.

woah.

i know, i'm doing it quite slowly.

it's like though after i complete 1 set of notes, i'll feel like i know most of it yet i don't.

hate such feelings.

hmmm..

International history hasn't progressed much too.

sickening.

i'm procrastinating way too much!

i need to get my butt out of the house to study man!

seriously need to lock my macbook up soon.

i seriously need to buck up!

i shouldn't waste so much time already.

irony, why am i here blogging?

LOL!

anyways, met up with a small group of my secondary school friends.

met them to catch up and study a little.

not too bad i guess?

at least i finished half the set of interstate tensions.

yeap.

turns out JJC is omitting that.

i saw my friend's IH syllabus, they studied the global economy and china.

NJC doesn't i think.

as in, up till now, Mr Lim hasn't done anything on it.

hmmm..

but they're not touching religious fundamentalism.

that's for sure.

tomorrow/today's going to be another long day.

hais..

need to start prioritizing my stuff out well.

hmmm..

realized something.

i've not been contacting Goddad for a while.

oh gosh!

i just remembered!

Father's Day is coming!!!

shit man.

i so need to shop for 2 people now.

LOL.

Goddad and my own father.

HAHAHAAH

okay.

shall not really rant much and scribble much on my blog.

nights all!

God bless us all!!

13 June 2011

2011-06-13T17:36:00.002+08:00

i'm back!

from foreign land.

okay, Singapore's still the best nonetheless.

saying that in conjunction to national day.

LOL!!

just kidding.

anyways, Bangkok was an eyeopener in many ways for me.

okay, i've yet to upload the pictures into my laptop or on facebook so yeah.

you're stuck with words.

going there was awesome cause the flight was fully booked, the ground personnel was allowed to upgrade some economy class seats to the business class.

mummy and i were lucky enough i guess?

hmmm..

priority goes to the countrymen of the the country the flight is originating from.

at least that's how the air stewardess said.

business class was good.

the people were surprised i was legal to drink wine and champagne cause they thought i was in secondary 2/3.

yay!

compliment.

hehe.

which means i DO NOT look OLD.

went shopping the first day.

and gosh!

i wished the initial hotel that we booked wan't full.

cause the one that we got in the end was a 3-star hotel at some lane.

going back at night was just plain scary.

i'm serious.

people sitting around the DARK alley looking at you as you walk back.

it was awkward.

seemed like they'd lung at you anytime to rob you.

reached back only to realize that we bought a faulty adapter.

had to send our phone to the receptionist to help us charge it.

thank God there was a nice receptionist.

it's like, we gave him our valuables(iPad 2, my HTC, mummy's iPhone and our 2 iPod Touches) to charge cause they didn't have a spare adapter to loan us then.

yeap.

he was indeed nice.

didn't touch anything i guess?

yeap!

woke up the next day and headed to this shopping centre called MBK.

not too bad.

it's like our bugis junction that's slightly better cause of the air con.

one thing that was good about it was that they sold quite a number of uniquely Thailand stuff.

yeap.

wanted to get their trademark cotton-ish shirt with an elephant in front but couldn't find the size.

and mummy reckoned that i'd only wear it once(like some of my other shirts) and leave it to 'rot' in my cupboard.

headed to some other mall thereafter.

oh.

they have isetan!

haha!

it wasn't too bad.

bought 3 shorts from there.

at least the waists of the people there are smaller.

yeap.

saw Armani Exchange, Paul Smith, Salvatore and other brands, turns out that they jack up the prices there instead.

despite the exchange rates that should be tilting the benefits to our side, turns out they are catered for the SUPER rich in Thailand which consist of less than 7% of the population according to the guy at A|X.

saw buddha statues all around the country.

seriously how history comes into help here.

in SEA history, we learnt about how the Thai kings making use of their authority and the buddhist religion to create a lot of unity within the masses.

their kings' portraits were all over the place.

quite cool to show much respect they have for their ex-king, Chulalongkorn.

imagine Singapore doing the same.

kinda freaky actually.

but one thing's for sure, they revere that fella a lot.

he 'created Thailand' according to my tour guide.

from roads to buildings and all.

something like that of Lee Kwan Yew.

but Lee Kwan Yew was more successful due to the small nature and secularity of our government.

our housing turned out better.

one thing that was surprising is the number of Tuk-tuks(some trishaw like vehicle that is motorized) and taxis is to the number of private owned vehicles.

it's like a ratio of taxis to the cars alone would be about 3:1.

i'm serious.

bangkok's traffic is atrocious.

the reckless driving is the only way around or else you'll get stuck.

it's that bad.

so Singaporeans, please be grateful our slow moving traffic is at least moving.

next thing about the people i met, be it the drivers or shop owners of the various night markets or proper shopping malls, their attitude sucks.

90% of them are known to show a fucked up face when you do not buy their items.

was warned on the plane and by my tour guide as well as Father Derrick but didn't expect things to be so bad.

i mean.

customer service.

hello! we customers have the right to choose whether we want to buy or not.

as usual.

people refused to serve kids like me cause they think we don't have what it takes to buy.

there was this shop owner who gave me that black face with the pissy look when i was patronizing her store.

the fat lady(she was so distinct that i can't help but remember her) was showing signs to ask me to not touch her things.

that was when i took out my wallet and paid her for the souvenirs that her facial expression changed COMPLETELY.

i'm serious.

it's that bad.

cause mummy passed me about 8000-9000 baht to hold and pay.

yeah, so it's like just another proof that kids have spending capacity.

another unique thing was the school guys' hair.

ALL were flat top.

i'm serious.

shaved to the skin, some were only SLIGHTLY longer with a little fringe.

girls were to tie 2 pony tails or 1.

no girls were allowed with short hair.

somehow, you have to tie up your hair.

it's a rule i heard from my tour guide.

yeap.

their law school and business school and even their university doesn't even look like a school.

that bad.

i'm not exaggerating.

i tried finding a school to take a picture but they were all so run down and looked like a typical shophouse.

so i kinda failed in that aspect.

their way of life outside the city relies wholly on agriculture.

saw great pastures of paddy fields.

it's time they upgrade to high-tech farming or else their country wouldn't progress.

i'm serious.

throw me there for a while, i'd die if it weren't for a holiday.

they rely A LOT on tourism.

the number of workers in office attire is like the number of Singaporeans taking up jobs at Giant.

okay, bad comparison.

even worse than that actually.

i only saw 3 people in office attire the entire 4 days there.

yeap.

everyone else were cabbies or tuk tuk drivers or worked in the F&B sector.

seriously over-reliance on tourism.

with their bad attitudes and bad english to communicate to the foreigners, i don't think it'll do them any good.

could see many foreigners getting pissed and just leaving.

sunday morning was the worst.

wanted to take a tuk tuk to Holy Redeemer Church.

this smart-aleck driver insisted that he knew where and took us.

instead, he drove us to 2 jewelry shops to patronize so if we were to spend, he'd get a commission and by patronizing, he'd get free gasoline.

absolutely ridiculous.

mummy and i decided to help cause we were free anyway, before church.

he gave a pissy face when we didn't buy any jewelry.

like seriously, i wouldn't dare to buy jewelry from those shops.

despite guarantees that the stones are real and the gold is real and all.

they looked really fake.

the jewelry doesn't shine much.

i'm serious.

finally he drove us to our destination and just dropped us off at the lane outside the place and asked us to walk in on our own.

what the fuck.

like seriously, we paid him.

tried finding the place for half an hour and gave up.

turns out that he dropped us at the wrong lane.

mummy got scared in the alley cause there were a lot of broken vehicles there and a lot of dogs and all.

the way the locals looked at us; menacing.

so we cabbed down to their super high class mall(it's like our Takashimaya, not as good as our Orchard Ion or 313 @somerset or what else.) called Siam Paragon and Siam Discovery Centre.

it was relatively BETTER shopping there.

but didn't see much things that i liked cause they're a season slower.

somehow, the clothes didn't appeal much.

i do admit that they do have some unique japanese brands and american ones.

but some were so unknown that we started doubting.

Bossini and Giordano was (told to us by the sales assistants) a luxury brand and was placed beside Esprit and Paul Smith.

i was shocked.

lol.

saw their prices for former 2, they were 3 times the price of Singapore's.

yeap.

explicit exploitation of the super rich in Thailand.

quite controversial eh this blog post.

worst thing was the trip back.

okay, the good stuff about the trip back first.

met 3 Catholic ladies who managed to make their way to the same church on Sunday.

it's not fair but the ladies were firm about where they wanted to go and made sure that their hotel receptionist arranged it.

yeah.

i guess mummy and i should've done that.

they were good part.

now for the bad.

i was stuck with an entire cabin of China people.

sorry to my lovely China friends but your counterparts were hideously barbaric and just downright bad.

they were a complete disgrace.

they ate and spat at the waiting lounge to board the train.

eating fruits and spitting the seeds on their hands and thereafter wiping their hands on the walls.

gosh!

ill-mannered or what?

it wasn't just one or 2.

it was quite a number.

thought that was bad enough.

they started a small brawl in the plane.

wonderful huh.

china versus china.

further disgracing and soiling their own country's already soiled reputation.

they yelled all over the place.

i stood up and took pictures of it.

didn't bother a video cause i wouldn't understand anyways.

4 air stewardess couldn't calm them.

yeah.

it subsided about 15min later when one china man stood up and said something along the lines that they were disgracing their country's great name.

exact translation.

so much for their great name with such behavior.

he said that after seeing me taking pictures and a couple more non-China people doing the same.

HAHAH!!

epic moment.

i know it's quite mean of me but it was annoying of them.

uncouth and lack of class.

seriously.

we asked for a transfer to business class but it was full, even for ready money.

yeah.

china bitch sat behind me and constantly kicked my chair.

seriously ANNOYING.

mummy kept pulling me down and covering my mouth.

LOL!

oh!

my eating table was slanted downwards in that flight.

had to use 2 pillows to prop the table.

i'm supposed to write in to Cathay about it.

yeah.

should scrap the plane cause some parts of the moniter that mummy was using couldn't really see anything.

wonderful huh.

that old boeing plane.

CX713.

expected more from Cathay actually.

okay.

wonderful trip huh!

i'd say it was eventful.

a lot of criticism on my part cause the way the people carried themselves in front of me were like that.

okay, quite biased a too i guess.

i hope no one takes my words out of context and quote me.

yeap.

time to unpack my luggage and eat; sleeping thereafter.

Venus, where were you when i needed you to translate for me.

Nat too!

kidding.

AHAHH!!

i guess overall, it was okay despite the mishaps that appeared.

conclude that bangkok's so not the place for sightseeing cause of differing definitions of places of interest.

mine doesn't lie with just temples and temples and more temples.

no offence.

i guess i love more natural scenery and all with cultural input rather than a king's palace after another.

it doesn't intrigue.

yeah.

i guess it's just my preference.

i wouldn't mind visiting churches though.

quite unique.

a couple of temples are fine but after a while, it gets boring.

don't see the significance.

i guess that's about it.

it's time to start on the math revision pack and revise for history.

have not done much yet.

God bless us all then!

8 June 2011

2011-06-08T01:06:00.006+08:00

Etude XXXV.

wonderful concert.

yeap!

while typing this, i'm waiting for my photos to be uploaded.

as usual i'm lazy to upload them here, so see them on facebook thank you!

firstly, i'd like to say thank you.

i'm unable to list out every single one of you but yeah.

yiing huey, tolerating my nonsense and encouraging me at the same time. for all the effort you've put into the concert!!

my section, thanks for all the fun and laughters that we shared from the nonsense interpretations of the piece and all.

james onggo, for reigniting the passion that i had nearly lost due to dilution by external issues. thanks for playing for us man! as well as supporting my(at times ridiculous) gimmicks.

adrian teng, for all the jokes that we cracked out. talked cock DURING AND AFTER band. pool sessions. and being a great section mate.

charlotte choo, listening to me rant on the bus and all.

last row-risers people(awkward phrasing but this is the best i can think of now at 1.42am!!), for all the rubbish that we went through together and the awesome playing. mutual encouragements and basically fun.

let's see.

okay, i give up.

i can barely think much now.

too exhausted physically and mentally.

and thank you everyone else that has impacted me for this concert in some way or another!

heart-felt gratitude!!

okay.

concert was a blast.

i can say it was comparatively was one the best concerts i've performed at.

a lot to say but here goes.

i've got no school tomorrow anyways.

hehe.

rehearsals were great.

i didn't dare to push too much though cause i feared that i'll be too tired during the concert.

yeap.

concert was great.

i loved every minute of it.

played in EVERY segment of the concert; main band(NJCSB), junior high band and finally STAGE BAND!

2.5hours of non-stop playing.

okay, don't take that statement too literally.

yup.

anyways.

main band was quite good.

for the first time in a long long while, i felt i was enjoying myself on stage.

feeling the music.

feeling the beat.

those priceless moments.

really glad to know another awesome person in NJC.

James Onggo.

thanks for guest playing for us in place of Shawn!

yeap.

you're awesome dude!

my solos were relatively great i felt and from the feedback i received.

yeap.

shall hear the recordings when Mickey Ho sends them to me!

though to be honest, i feel quite insecure about the balance of the band.

yeah.

that's an honest remark.

i got extremely tired by the time i was done with stage band.

oh oh!!

stage band:

being pink panthers and crawling about to get to the stage.

it was fun luh!

epic moment.

everyone just got very involved in it.

hahaha!!

james, adrian and myself.

EPICC!!!

joined in the junior high band for their second piece to help them.

yeap.

i guess it was worth it learning all those ridiculously crazy looking antics.

had to rush and change after stage band just to be in time.

hais..

what a day it has been.

hannukah was great.

the solo was awesome.

mother earth wasn't our best cause by then, my embrochure was dying and also my blutack was going out of place.

okay.

here's the thing about the blutack(white colored one) in my mouth.

it's there to cover over the braces to protect my lips as i put my mouthpiece there and play.

yeap.

if i used the wax the dentist gave me, it goes soft the moment i start buzzing and blood goes there.

done.

ended off with a blast.

received many gifts.

thanks guys!!

especially the heartwarming notes.

the one from the Junior High section.

really touched by them.

i feel appreciated.

showmanship was up for me today.

i wish i had the stamina.

sorry for that y'all!

thanks be to God!

thanks for all those that went and support me.

Jimmy, Atika, Mickey Ho, NJC trumpet seniors!

yeap.

love you all very much.

okay!

my photos are done.

not to tag and add captions!

whahahaha.

i'm turning in soon!

God bless us all!!

4 June 2011

2011-06-04T21:42:00.002+08:00

let's be a party pooper.

5 months and 5 days' time, it's A's.

yeap.

as crappy as it is.

it's real.

it's coming.

it's REALly COMING.

i'm so tired of life suddenly.

it's like there's so many things to do in a single day.

the amount of considerations to be taken into account when you do anything.

the world has amounted to requiring us so much thoughts just to do simple things.

don't you just feel it's tiring.

band concert's on tuesday.

only a week of preparation and we're performing.

wow huh!

considerably quite alright but sometimes during band, it's quite annoying and irritating for the fact that efforts not put in though physically present.

i get quite pissed by that cause it's really annoying that some think they are just right and refuse to alter their intonation.

seriously, use your ears.

don't self-presume to be right and that you're right.

7th June 2011.

7.30pm

tickets are at $12 and $15 each.

Singapore Conference Hal.

Repertoire includes:

Der Vogelhandler

Rhapsody For Hannukah

Jazz Suite

Ireland: of Legend and Lore(i think)

Gabriel's Oboe

Lawrence of Arabia

Caprice

Stage band featuring famous pop pieces!

yeap.

and not forgetting our SYF choice piece

Northern Mother Earth: Praise for All Living Things

okay.

enough advertising.

i'm quite stressed of life and all.

it's sickening.

this is like an entire post of rants.

i can't help it.

want to type more details but i realized, it's public.

basically.

i'm loving music a lot more.

i wish i got time for it.

it shall be subsidiary nonetheless.

i hope i'll have confidence for my solos this concert.

quite a number of them.

hmmm..

i just got to say.

i love mummy a lot.

yeap.

she's just damn awesome.

too many instances to exemplify her wonder.

hahahah.

my lovely mother.

alright then.

God bless us all.

22 May 2011

2011-05-21T23:53:00.003+08:00

let me share you with you guys 3 songs.

3 of my all time favourite Japanese songs from shows.

no. 1

Laputa- Castle In The Sky.

this is the main theme of the show.

beautiful huh.

next up.

Spirited Away.

i watched this show twice.

and i cried.

emotional as i may not seem to be.

wait.

i am emotional, i guess?

lol.

point is, the show is really great.

last but not least,

Princess Monoke.

this was a shocker.

didn't know it was sung by a guy.

he sounds beautiful though.

you've got to admit, his voice is as good as the 2 above.

okay, just why am i so random?

i chanced upon it cause Shawn Tan 'shared' them on facebook.

yeap.

really love these 3 songs and these 3 shows.

a little about today.

went for Mass, it was confirmation Mass.

it took me back into a year and a month back when i was baptized.

the feeling was just back, reaffirmed my faith even more.

yeap.

it's just unexplainable.

seeing those kids and this old adult getting Confirmed was heartwarming.

it dwelled in me that i should cherish my faith.

then i told mummy that she should've baptized at birth then i will get to meet more Catholic friends of my age.

haha.

ain't saying that my current ones are bad though.

okay.

shall go to bed then.

i need to start my intense studying routine soon.

nights!

God bless us all!!

20 May 2011

2011-05-20T00:27:00.001+08:00

Taxi

I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.. 'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly. 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'. I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. 'What route would you like me to take?' I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now.'

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said.

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

that wasn't in any way written by me.

i don't drive a cab.

i don't even know how to drive given the fact mummy's afraid i crash and die before my A's.

felt it was really good.

adapted it from a person's blog whom adapted it from elsewhere.

yeap.

can't believe i'm up now at this hour doing a little work.

i love the silence of night and sitting up doing work.

it's alluring.

somehow..

okay.

shall go back to my work now.

Mr Lim should be proud of me man!!

God bless us all!

19 May 2011

2011-05-19T21:05:00.001+08:00

a little rest goes a long way.

16 May 2011

2011-05-16T21:50:00.002+08:00

saw a sight that totally caused my heart to fall.

it's not one that you see all the time.

one of love.

compassion encapsulated me.

since sec1, when i looked all horrible and what not, there's this lady selling tissue at Jurong East MRT.

she shouts the same line without fail, ' tissue paper 1 dollar! '

and she'll go on.

saw her evolved(not such a good word but i'm brain-dead. no insult meant) from sitting in a wheelchair into a big motorized one.

i guess she's having a severe condition.

constantly, at least every time i go by there, i'm just moved and compelled by my conscience to buy from her her tissues.

despite being a student, i would just fish out for a note in my wallet.

be it a 5 or 2, i'd ask her to keep the change.

no, i'm not trying to show off here but just trying to stress a point that we can all make a little sacrifice in our lives.

help those that are genuinely in need.

from the way she looks, she's gotten more haggard and old.

with 2 children that are mentally challenged as well.

my heart goes out to her.

the gratitude that i can feel in her smile when she thanks me for giving her more than i'm supposed to, NEVER makes me regret the act.

what i'm stressing here is that if we all allow our conscience to move us and have a little compassion for others, it not only benefits them.

the innate human feeling of being kind should not be eclipsed by those critical, mean and ungrateful acts that we receive from others in our lives.

we should allow compassion to move about freely from one act in our lives to another.

okay, back to the main story.

i was there at 11pm at the interchange to wait for my bus back home.

i'd never expect to see her there that late.

honestly, usually by noon or 2pm, she'd have left the interchange.

my heart sank.

there she was, waiting for the wheelchair-friendly buses to pick her up and none came.

plus the fact that she had just missed one due to commuters filling it up so quickly and refusing to back off to allow her to board it.

it really stricken me to see such a sight.

i couldn't do much.

the doors were shut, the bus was packed.

yeah.

as dramatic as it sounds and cliche, i've decided that when i grow, i want to make a difference in the lives of these people.

yeap.

i want to help them out in any way i can.

i shall start studying hard.

monetary means or whatsoever, i'm going to try.

as big an aspiration this is, i'm going to try.

be it what others may think of me to be pretentious and acting all kind and what not, i'm going to try.

somehow, such things just can't go away from my mind just like that.

they stay etched in it and leaves me to think.

whenever possible, i'm going to try my best to go by there just to buy tissue from her.

sadly, i don't have a picture from sec 1 till now to show how she's changed.

but, if i had, i'd definitely show you guys why we should be compassionate.

undeniably, it is a fact that we can't help all.

instead of using that as an excuse, why not transform it to be a reason for why we should help as many of those in need?

perhaps, this'll be better than just feeling sorry for them.

have empathy rather than sympathy though it's a first step to being empathetic.

yeap.

common tests' in 2 weeks.

what have i done?

nothing much.

it's time to pick up the pace.

yes, i've been procrastinating a little again.

rather mentally drained now.

okay, i know i can do this!

i'm sure i can!

i'm going to do it.

Mass this week totally struck me once again.

being a separate entity sometimes isn't such a bad thing afterall.

yeap.

that was the gist of it.

being a separate entity knowing that you've done nothing wrong but for God is a good reason to be alone at times in our lives.

leave the pharisees to judge you.

they are the ones slow to understand and forgive but quick to judge.

let them be.

let it be.

okay that last line was uncalled for.

lol.

it's just a title of a song by The Beatles i think.

yeap.

oldie but a goodie.

pardon the rhyme.

okay then.

i'm going to clear yet another chapter of econs before i turn in tonight and meet mingshi up to study tomorrow.

God bless us all!!

10 May 2011

2011-05-10T21:00:00.002+08:00

Jazzified!

a jazz band/pop band that i formed recently.

all i can say was that i thoroughly enjoyed myself today with these bunch of people.

performance at St Luke's Hospital was just great.

somehow despite the solos, i didn't get scared.

yay!!

a step towards improvement.

and i came to realize that i should practise solos less cause the more i practise, the more pressure i feel and the stress increases exponentially.

i should just practise once or twice and do it on the spot.

yeap!

love you guys.

thanks for the awesome time today.

it was definitely the highlight of the day.

God bless us all!!

8 May 2011

2011-05-08T19:15:00.002+08:00

okay.

random thing to start the post with.

for the title, i wanted to type in May and i ended up typing Mary.

LOL!!!

damn stupid.

anyways, today was great.

Mothers' Day was a day i broke my 6-year boycott from Malaysia.

okay, it started because my friend got robbed there so i got scared and refused to go in all these 6 years.

however, circumstances like Mothers' Day caused my boycott to fail.

nevermind, at least it was half a dozen years that i managed to 'abstain' from there.

LOL!!

it was alright actually.

nothing happened besides lunch and walking around.

at least mummy had her day around.

she was like bored of singapore can!

didn't get much from there apart from food.

encountered issues at customs.

damn.

was damn innocent can!!!

turns me off from there even more to go there.

SYF's over.

silver.

a super difficult result to take in cause we really didn't expect that.

even Mr Ho was shocked at it and said stuff during his speech to address us.

yeah.

point is, NJC, VJC, HCJC, AJC and NYJC seriously don't deserve the silver.

seriously.

period.

Jazz band is going on fine!

performance is on tuesday.

excitement looms in the air.

not.

told shawn to arrange Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin with a sax solo since terence wanted one.

i emphasized the point of NO trumpet solos.

shawn purposely made a solo trumpet part specifically for me.

okay, i understand his intention.

he's trying to help me gain back confidence to play solos.

yeap.

the loser here lost confidence in playing solos.

wonderful right?

don't ask me why.

i'll just think too much.

then i'll be unable to get inner peace and get tensed instead.

it gets worse when my hand shivers and shakes.

woah.

quite impossible sounding for the one who was like never having such issues before right?

yeah, i know.

i ask myself how things became like that.

i can't answer it.

sucks to be me.

i guess everything is setting in.

yeah.

hopefully the momentum to study stats picking up arleady.

it's time to start studying already.

been slacking way too much already.

okay.

Swensens's is back.

yeah.

dinner!

oh oh!

a happy Mothers' Day to you Godma!!

stay awesome yo!!

and all mothers out there.

we, as your kids, love you.

God bless us all!

2 May 2011

2011-05-02T20:38:00.002+08:00

oh look, tomorrow's SYF!

let our academic sacrifices be paid off tomorrow!

with surplus for the matter.

NJCSB, we're going to make it.

God bless us all!!

28 April 2011

2011-04-28T16:16:00.002+08:00

okay, i so did not plan to skip school today.

it was just one of those rare mornings when the accumulated lack of sleep takes you down.

tried studying math last night till 2am i think.

at least i remember some complex numbers formulas.

best part was that i dreamt that i was studying it.

wow.

stressed much.

(life of a JC student)

yeap.

i guess, they all culminated and i eventually woke up with a splitting headache.

it was so bad that i nearly fell down when i walked out of the room to tell mummy that i'm not going to school.

popped a panadol and went back to sleep.

the last time i woke up was at 10.45am.

wanted to sleep on but then thought it would be best not to sleep on.

took another panadol and finally got on my laptop after such a long while of not doing so.

thank God, it finally subsided.

okay.

i realized something.

i've been saying that i want to change my blogskin.

yeah, haven't done so till now.

damn.

learnt that my younger brother's picking up html in poly.

immediately, i asked him' do up a blog skin for me soon yeah? '

he was like ' what the hell? '

hilarious!

i'm getting lazy.

correction.

i am very lazy.

Easter Sunday's Mass was great.

congrats to the cathechumens for getting baptized.

i just feel so happy for them.

lol.

looking at them getting dunked.

all the symbolism suddenly came rushing to me.

how the tomb-like baptismal font and all.

i love literature, learnt so much from Mr Whitby.

okay, i guess i love my subject combination a lot.

hehe.

performance to the school wasn't too bad.

all i can say that our hall's acoustics is PATHETIC.

after the sports hall is up, they should fix the roofs in the school.

thereafter, the hall.

yeap.

Mother's Day is coming.

have you guys thought of anything special you'll be doing for your mums?

for me?

i've got to think out 2 things: 1 for mummy and another for Godma.

haha.

i think Goddad and Godma are damn cute luh.

with little jeremiah taking up all of Goddad's traits.

feel super blessed to have them as Godparents.

yet another one of those big decisions in life i'll never regret.

hehe.

it's like 437 already.

damn.

i'm spending too long ranting about my boring life.

SYF is approaching already.

3rd May 2011.

hmmm..

excited yet scared.

7 June 2011 guys.

keep that date free.

i'll be having a concert at the Singapore Conference Hall that day.

correction.

the National Junior College Symphonic Band.

hehe.

repertoire's awesome cause i'm settling it.

wanted to play Stabat Mater Dolorossa but we don't have the score.

hais..

sickening.

Jazz band's been finalized.

hehe.

watch out for it guys.

yeap!

think i'll end it here.

procrastinated too much already.

God bless us all!

22 April 2011

2011-04-22T20:27:00.002+08:00

a question for you church goers.

do you sometimes feel so overwhelmed by His love that you just want to cry?

i don't know, it's like every time i go to church, most of the time, i just feel like breaking down cause i feel so blessed to be in Mass per se.

yeah man.

okay, Good Friday has been good.

indeed it was a different feeling.

yeap.

was suppose to go for Mass at 11am but then the car park was so full and the Mass hall too so mummy drove us to orchard to shop.

got myself a bag.

yeap, bright yellow!

haha. mummy's damn cute luh.

she was like ' eh that man brand(crumpler) damn nice uh. '

so we went in and look around.

she got herself a handphone pouch for the sake of the brand.

-.-

and i got my bag.

okay.

Mass was great.

been going for thursday's Maundy Thursday's Mass.

yeap.

i love God and that's all that matters.

yeap, can't help it.

hehe.

alright.

birthday this year was very toned down.

yeap.

i guess it's a good way to reflect about what i've been doing for the past 18 years of my life.

the next was a blast.

meeting MEMEKS and mickey after band for a sumptuous dinner at BARACKS at Demsey Hill.

clubbed after that.

enjoyed my time i guess?

hehee.

thanks guys.

ming shi and charmaine gave me an ugly doll that's not so ugly afterall.

wait.

maybe it is quite ugly still i guess.

hmmm..

but still, to show my appreciation, i'm putting it on my new bag instead of the usual Yoshi.

hehe.

i'll see how.

watching/watched 200 pounds beauty, some korean movie on cable tv.

it's a great show.

it's didactic in the sense that it tells you to be real.

there's no point being fake.

no matter how much you try to be different from before, there's still a part of you that doesn't change.

it's innate.

embrace your outlook, you're great in your own way.

i loved the ending when she was brave even to confess the entire story.

okay, i admit, i cried.

=')

hahaha!!

i guess it's time to pick my life up.

it's been stagnating as ever.

hmmm..

not a good thing man.

SYF's in a few days and i'm not exactly sure that we are a GWH standard yet or not.

cause inconsistency is the greatest flaw.

plus intonation.

gosh!

okay then.

not going to rant much.

wanted to blog about something.

apparently, i forgot.

blame my wonderful memory man!

alright then.

thank you Lord for dying for me on this day.

amen.

awaiting the commemoration of his resurrection on Saturday midnight or Sunday.

yeap.

God bless us all!!

11 April 2011

2011-04-11T22:16:00.001+08:00

And I wonder...

This shall be the title.
I guess life's uncertainty.
The old cliche is that after a while, you'll see who your true friends are and who aren't.
Seems like I'm either deluding myself about some of them; hoping they'd be the friend that you first knew.
Then again, who are we that they remain for us?
That's when the notion of friends come about.

Though fairly you've been there for me, its evident of you placing self over friend always applies for me.
At least from my perception, it only seems to be applied on me and no one else.
Yeah.
So what am I to say honestly?
=/

Good things come to an end.
We question ourselves on this countless of times but never fail to understand why.
You'll wonder what you did that was wrong but never when that it was right.
This reflects back on the genuine friendship that you place the other above yourself to change yourself first than to change others.
Yet others always pick on the wrong and only the wrong and negating the good times and moments shared.
No?
Do correct me if I'm wrong.

Few friends in life actually show this true element.
Somehow, the human instinct is that we place ourselves, our security, our haven before others'.

So which of these ties are true friendship?
Looked at it from another point of view, hypocrisy becomes centered as the push for friendship.
The need of this bond is acknowledged but interpreted wrongly.
The disregarding nature kicks in when your need is fulfilled.
The backstabbing comes into place to protect yourself from the same harm.

Yet again, it depends on a case by case basis.
I can't just claim that there to be one and only one way of looking at it cause circumstances play a big part in how things are done and for what purpose.
The trap is that we tend to blame circumstances for everything and the failure to know that that actually both parties had fault in the matter.

That was merely my 2 cents worth of thoughts on the bus ride home alone.
Yeap.
Ended band practice at NTU NIE at 9.
Transport takes time.

A lot of work to clear.
No surprise though.
Hmmm..
Somehow, every week seems more hectic than the previous.

Need to prioritize my things further.
More or less have a clear outline of what I want to set out to do and how.
Deal is how to put it into place.

Sucks to wake up in the morning with blurred vision that is just temporary.
After it has subsided, the migraine kicks in.
Still, I survived.

We all have problems.
That's a fact.
Sharing with others to face it together one at a time, it seems better.
Yeah.

Shall continue my quiet thinking alone now.
Feel better pending down the thoughts though.
Yeap.

Penitencial Rite on Thursday.
God bless me that I may be able to pass my NAPFA before that.
Yeap.
I guess that's that.

God bless us all!
=)

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